Today is a day of treats. No tricks, just pure and utter treats.
Let us count the ways, shall we?
FIRST AND FOREMOST
I. am. going. to. be. hanging. out. with. this. girl. in. a. matter. of. hours. yes the emphasis is necessary.
Literally, we have been counting down the hours for the past few days. I might actually wet myself when I finally get to hold her in my arms. It will be terrifying.
Also, HOW CAN I CONTINUE TO FORGET THAT SHE IS A FELLOW SWIRLGEAR AMBASSADOR (makes her even more perfect. Also, I put her up to it :D)
I have some special news to share with you guys. This is something that has been on my mind for quite some time, but I have waffled back and forth on it. When I got to the point of finally being ready to act on it, I got sucked back into trying to hold out for a preservation job (my originally projected career path), and then that dragged on. and on. and on. and on. Until we are back here. Back where we started. Again.
I am going to be honest with you all, and this is sort of dangerous because it is on the web and public. But I am ready to say it: I have decided to switch courses, be it permanently or just for the time being.
Last week, I went to a meeting for the young professionals council of the statewide organization. And I felt like someone who eats healthfully (but not strictly) going to a specialty diets convention. Sure, it’s something that I have a connection to, but I feel so totally disconnected from that world. What’s more, and this is the kicker: I don’t even really care to be a part of it. I never have. I’ve never wanted to do advocacy and be in nonprofits. I wanted to be an architect and a historian: to document, write histories, and to problem solve new uses to help people re-envision the magic of spaces and the world around them. Not deal with a clusterf**k of city organizations and politics and nonprofits who appear to be incompetent.
This break from the restaurant has afforded me the chance to try my hand at something the makes me really happy. And that is thus: helping people discover themselves through fitness, health, and learning to take care of themselves. I want people to know that we all have more within us; that we can all reach beyond ourselves. That even when we are told otherwise, we can be athletes. So, to begin, I am going to pursue my Certified Personal Trainer certification. I would like to also become a nutritionist specialist and a running coach, but first steps first. I am going to put some other things into motion–apply to be an admin assistant, a membership advisor, some other things–but I am going to go ahead and start studying and moving the ball forward.
Now, this is just an attempt, and not the be-all-end-all there-is-no-turning-back decision. It might not work. But I have to try. Serving is not the best life for me, or for Alex and myself as a couple. Sure the money is good. But it is not worth my health. I had put on good, solid weight following my marathon. And then the stress, long hours, freezing temperatures, and hormone difficulties of January and February hit, and undid all the good that I had worked so hard on. My body started to break down again, as made obvious by the rash of injuries I have sustained since then and the lbs I have lost. My life at the restaurant in Virginia was just so different–I worked just as much, but I was so much happier, my body didn’t have to work so hard to stay warm, and my diet was able to be much more solid.
I still love architecture. I still love history. And should the right opportunity crop up, I will absolutely consider it. But it is time for me to accept what I figured out after one semester at Columbia, but was too late to change (and too proud to admit to anyone apart from my mother): this is not what I had in mind. As the knight guarding the Holy Grail told Indiana Jones… “He chose….poorly.”
I will keep you all updated as I can.
But right now, I am going to finish packing, go to a meeting that I couldn’t honestly care less about, catch a plain, and tackle a Pittsburghian.
Have you ever forced yourself to finish something because you were too proud to admit that you were wrong? And no, I am not talking about last night’s dinner…. But tell me about that too!