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Lyfe Tough Talk

Today I Just Need to Talk.

Today? I am just tired. Mentally. Physically. Not exhausted. But, just…. tired.

Today, I need to chat. Like I would to a friend, if I had any (no, not fishing for compliments, just being self-depreciating).

This weekend was spent at the restaurant. 14 hr solid (ie straight-through) shift Saturday after long dinner service, horrible, sweaty sleep Friday, and then Sunday till about 10 and last night double, with an hour off. Saturday, I wore my FitBit, and I walked about 5.5 miles just within the restaurant, and I didn’t leave once I arrived, and I only sat down 3 times as well (pre-shift in the morning, pre-shift in the afternoon, folding napkins after midnight). These are not complaints. Simply me stating facts. When I was working at Orzo in VA, I would actually often have days where I would near 20,000 steps and 9-10 miles on doubles! The restaurant was shaped differently, and we had to go farther into it to get certain things done. Plus, being cold pretty much all of the time really does a number on you. Yesterday morning it was about 60 in the restaurant. I went during my break to Marshalls to see if I could find another shirt to put on (right now I am already wearing a camisole, a long sleeved waffle knit shirt, and my uniform v-neck.

I ended up getting a pair of fleeced tights to wear under my jeans. Amazing decision for the lower half of my body, the upper was still cold. The problem is that the shirts are those American Apparel v-neck T’s, so they are rather fitted to the body, and you can wear a low scoopneck shirt (or V) and not look silly, but it still leaves the back of your neck exposed, which is actually a hug factor in my getting cold.

How cruel and ironic is it that I am the smallest person and in need of a company jacket/zip up the most, but that I can’t have one because I am too small????? They ordered unisex sizes, so the small on me (even though a lot of people have shrunk theirs, it would still look silly) is still too big and looks sloppy. FML.

Making matters worse is the fact that, because I am so tired mentally, I just have no willpower. Enter the I-don’t-give-a-crap-I-don’t-even-want-it-but-I’m-going-to-eat-it-anyways diet. It doesn’t annoy me that I’m eating more (in fact, it is part of the plan to do so!) but I just hate the fact that it isn’t a concerted effort on my part to get good calories, instead of eating just for the sake of eating or because I can. Definitely affecting my energy levels as well.

My calf seems to finally be doing a little bit better. I have been taping it with RockTape, and for whatever reason, the sensory response that results from it appears to be helping. But I still can feel something just off. I don’t know really how to proceed. Going to a doc, they would just tell me to rest it. I think that it needs to be worked on by my PT, but I can’t afford it. And I barely see Alex (though I will for the next few days), so good luck with that.

Right now, I need that run more than ever. 

I finally have some news about my mysterious opportunity. The long and short of it is thus: I am now one of the people being considered for the other job. When the guy asked if I was interested in being considered for that position, he really did mean considered. Regardless of his asking me as well to be on the Board of the organization. So, now I get to wait while they (the new Executive Director and whoever else) decide over the next two (ish) weeks who to move on to the next round, interviews. Thank you all so much for your well wishes on this, it has meant so, so much to me.

Hopefully I’ll have something fun up for WIAW tomorrow. I have a couple of recipes to post, but who knows.  I think I am going to attempt to take a nap, and try to convince myself to go to the gym for a little bit and do chest.

Also, I worked a little bit on the blog today, getting some of the menus put together a bit more, nothing big, but at least something productive. And Edy’s Slow Churned went on sale. So score for that.

I hope everyone is having a solid day, tell me something new and exciting–right now I need it!!

Peace out.

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