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Thinking Out Loud Tough Talk

Therapy Thoughts: When It is All Your Fault

I’ve figured out what brought me to a halt not just this weekend, but again and again and again: it is not the idea that life isn’t perfect, or that I am imperfect; it is the idea that it is all my fault. 

Speaking of stress… who wants to win a massager….? Enter now!

I am the person that friends come to for guidance, for comfort, and for logical, reasoned, fair, perspective. By nature, I am a problem solvers. My goal in life is to solve the problems of others–that is why I loved Historic Preservation and adaptive reuse: I was solving the problem of what to do with these buildings. I loved algebra because I was solving for x. My clients love to discuss problems with me because I think them through and offer that reasoned perspective that I just mentioned.

So, why did I fall apart this weekend when I hit those speed bumps, speed bumps that are, by and large, not really the biggest, worst events to happen?

Because I perceived them as all my fault. I cannot handle with I am wrong or at fault in any situation. 

In my posts on my anxiety, I have mentioned that my anxiety largely stems from the idea that I have disappointmented someone, that I have been incorrect in my conduct (even just relaying incorrect information that I believed wholeheartedly at the time), or confrontation that might reveal that, quite simply, it is all my fault

I even get anxiety when I don’t react the way I assume I should be reacting to situations because it is my fault (because I have chemical imbalances, and thus question whether or not I will ever react properly). I hope that makes sense…

It is all my fault that I got the wrong degree and wasted my parents’ money and that I now am not in the job befitting my Ivy League education. 

It is all my fault that if one of my athletes gets injured, rather than the fact that sometimes sh** happens. Or maybe they had an extenuating circumstance that I could never plan for.

It is all my fault that I missed my appointment. It is all my fault that I didn’t refill my medications. 

You see, until I got the email from my doctors stating that “it is the patient’s job to make sure that they have sufficient medications and to ask for refills as necessary,” I merely perceived the lack of meds as a problem to be dealt with. Because the blame wasn’t yet on me. But the moment that the blame was placed on me….

CRUMBLE. 

That logical, reasonable, fair and balanced mind? Out the window. 

To provide a comparison: When I opened the door to our apartment to find a flood of black sludge across our kitchen floors, I didn’t freak out. You can ask Alex. I called our landlord, called Alex, started mopping things up, and then started fixing dinner. 

Because it wasn’t my fault, I could deal with the problem. Now, if it had been my fault? I would imagine that I would have had a very different reaction. 

My therapist and I have started to discuss how hard I am on myself, why I am so insecure about my place and my perception of my contribution to the world. And now, I realize more and more the source of anxiety such as that from this weekend is the perfect storm combination of feeling a sense of disappointment in myself, my being at fault for what happened, and culminating in confrontation (regardless of how that confrontation is carried out). 

And I know what we really need to work on. 

Because, as a mother, wife, friend, coach, trainer, blogger, FREAKING HUMAN…. we are going to be wrong. We are going to be criticized. Sometimes it is going to be our fault. Sometimes, it won’t be. But as I have said time and TIME again, life is about reactions. 

Life is about reactions: how do you handle situations you perceive as your fault? #mentalhealth #anxiety Click To Tweet

It is time to work on my own reactions to my own situations so that when I am confronted with self-created problems, I can approach them as I would those of my friends: rationally, logically, fair, balanced, and CALM.

How do you react to situations that you perceive as your fault? Are they more or less anxiety inducing than situations beyond your control?

Thank you Amanda for the Thinking Out Loud link up!

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74 Comments

  • Reply Megan @ Skinny Fitalicious

    Fault is a hard thing to swallow but at the end of the day, fault doesn’t matter. It’s how you react. You’ll get there!
    Megan @ Skinny Fitalicious recently posted…Five Things That Changed Me In 2016My Profile

    January 12, 2017 at 5:16 am
    • Reply suzlyfe

      Always a work in progress!

      January 13, 2017 at 10:32 am
  • Reply Allie

    I work on this all.the.time. and, when I was a personal trainer I took every injury, missed goal, etc as a direct reflection on my abilities. Over the years, I have learned to let a lot of it go but, I still have the same feelings you do about things being “my fault” and then I try to remember I am in control of my reaction to whatever shit show is going on! #thestruggleisreal
    Allie recently posted…How Triathletes Are Different Than RunnersMy Profile

    January 12, 2017 at 5:21 am
    • Reply suzlyfe

      I just need to tone down that bomb at the beginning. Because that shit bomb sucks.

      January 13, 2017 at 10:32 am
  • Reply Lisa @ Mile by Mile

    My biggest issues are around control. If I cant control a situation, it causes me stressed. When I feel like something is my fault it feels worse if there was something obvious I could have done about it. It sounds like a huge step that you have been able to recognize this about yourself and can now work on it!
    Lisa @ Mile by Mile recently posted…It Must Be Winter Around HereMy Profile

    January 12, 2017 at 5:47 am
    • Reply suzlyfe

      I just hope that I can figure out where to go from here. Luckily, I’ve got help!

      January 13, 2017 at 10:31 am
  • Reply Heather @Lunging Through Life

    Umm, did I write this? I feel so strongly connected to this one and only since I married Aaron have I been able to take more of things being my fault and lose the controlling of everything. He’s such an opposite and go with the flow, whatever happens, happens person and I’m so not. It’s great in some situations, okay most, but some I just want to slap him πŸ˜‰
    Heather @Lunging Through Life recently posted…Thank You + Our Wednesday And Some TruthsMy Profile

    January 12, 2017 at 5:56 am
    • Reply suzlyfe

      Alex as well. Thank goodness for these boys.

      January 13, 2017 at 10:28 am
  • Reply Emily

    This is so me. I always thought it’s cause I’m an older sister.
    Emily recently posted…Triple Chocolate Nutella Brownie ThumbprintsMy Profile

    January 12, 2017 at 6:16 am
    • Reply suzlyfe

      I can see that–you always feel responsible, and slightly like you should be the authority.

      January 13, 2017 at 10:27 am
  • Reply Run Colby run

    Fault is a tough one to choke down. I can feel the flush in my face just writing that. Being told “This is you fault” evokes a degree of shame and embarrasment. Admitting something is your fault has taken on a different shift in me lately and I’m not sure how that occurred. You’ve got me thinking. πŸ€” I am at the point in my life where actually admitting something was my fault causes relief. I admitted it. Exhaled. And now will change/fix/do better/move the eff on or what have you. In a bizarre way it’s empowering. Now I have the control to change itin the future- to do better, learn and grow from it. At the end of the day, we’re all human.
    Run Colby run recently posted…4 Weeks of Training Down!My Profile

    January 12, 2017 at 6:26 am
    • Reply suzlyfe

      I’m not a human, I’m a dancer πŸ˜€ I can and will admit fault, I just need the realization of fault to not freak me out so much.

      January 13, 2017 at 10:28 am
      • Reply Run Colby Run

        We are all works in progress. That’s fo sho’. Paws crossed for you!!! xoxo

        January 13, 2017 at 10:32 am
  • Reply Julie @ Running in a Skirt

    This is me totally! I feel the same way but didn’t quite put a finger on that until you said it!
    Hope you are feeling as good as possible with all the meds.
    Julie @ Running in a Skirt recently posted…5 Words I’m Living by in 2017 to Find JoyMy Profile

    January 12, 2017 at 7:11 am
    • Reply suzlyfe

      It was so obvious to me once I had the realization!

      January 13, 2017 at 10:27 am
  • Reply kat

    Totally understand you here girl. I tend to take things upon myself as “fault” simply because of so many toxic, abusive relationships in which others blamed me for their own failures, insecurities and whatever else. EVERYTHING was always my fault, so now I still feel that way. My husband is really patient with me and we are working to move past that – but it isn’t easy at all. Thank you for this post girl – it’s such a great reminder and motivator for me!
    kat recently posted…TOL #116 – Baking Fails, Sneaky Veggies & Photo Help!My Profile

    January 12, 2017 at 7:33 am
    • Reply suzlyfe

      Thank goodness for good people who love us and work with us. LOVE YOu

      January 13, 2017 at 10:26 am
  • Reply Wendy@Taking the Long Way Home

    Have you been inside my head? I have done a great job of beating myself up more than usual lately. It doesn’t help that my office manager is more than happy to wield the paddle as well. It’s not easy being a perfectionist and it’s not easy letting go of things you have no control over. I think it’s just the way we are wired.

    Pass the xanax, please.
    Wendy@Taking the Long Way Home recently posted…Why Run if You Hate to Run?My Profile

    January 12, 2017 at 7:45 am
    • Reply suzlyfe

      SO MUCH XANAX.
      I say that you get a paddle and challenge her to a game of ping pong.

      January 13, 2017 at 10:25 am
  • Reply Jamie

    Man oh man am I hard on myself when I make (or it even seems like I make) a mistake. If anyone else was in the same situation, I would forgive in a nanosecond what I would remember about myself for years. But I find it getting easier the more I mess up. Like taking more rest days until it starts to feel better and normal to relax. I think people like me more too when I let myself make the mistakes. No one wants a robot for a spouse/friend/sister.
    Jamie recently posted…FaceTimeMy Profile

    January 12, 2017 at 7:46 am
    • Reply suzlyfe

      I hear you there. Definitely don’t want to be a robot. You are so right: people like and respond to HUMANS

      January 13, 2017 at 10:24 am
  • Reply Cora

    Yes, life is about reactions. Life is also about acceptance, learning from our constant INEVITABLE lessons, and being compassionate. Some of the hardest things to do. Look at what you are learning, though. You are learning so much about how you react, and this awareness is going to be what enables you to take the next steps into small changes. I wonder if we can adjust our thoughts on the word “fault.” We ALL screw up. So what if we can, instead of taking away that word, we can use it … accept that, yes, it may have been our “fault,”…. but remind ourselves that IN THAT MOMENT we were doing exactly what we thought was right and that we really truthfully had the best intentions. When we can take ourselves back to that present moment of when we made our decision and show ourselves that we did what we thought was best and COULD NOT know what the future would hold, its easier to get some compassion in there. At least, for me. Cause I get it. <3
    Cora recently posted…Taking Care of Your Body: What I Ate WednesdayMy Profile

    January 12, 2017 at 7:51 am
    • Reply suzlyfe

      That is a good point. That we were doing what we thought was right. And sure, we were wrong, but who isn’t from time to time? And then we can learn from it. GREAT point, Cora.

      January 13, 2017 at 10:23 am
  • Reply Alli O

    Thank you for this post! I’ve struggled with this a lot myself, but never could put it into words and ask for help. Now i know what to ask for!

    January 12, 2017 at 8:35 am
    • Reply suzlyfe

      Alli, I’m so glad that I was helpful!

      January 13, 2017 at 10:22 am
  • Reply Linda @ Veganosity

    We’re opposites when it comes to freaking out. I tend to lose it when things are beyond my control, because I’m a control freak. I get all kinds of bent out of shape if someone or something else causes havoc on my life. When something goes wrong, because I messed up, I just shrug my shoulders, apologize (if needed), and do what I can to fix it.

    January 12, 2017 at 8:39 am
    • Reply suzlyfe

      Want to share a little bit and find the middle ground?

      January 13, 2017 at 10:22 am
  • Reply Danielle @ The T-Rex Runner

    I definitely understand this. I mean, there’s no way around it, sometimes we make mistakes and things ARE our fault. It’s not a good feeling, but it’s one that is useful and can help us learn and grow. Like you said, the key is to learn how to accept when things are your fault and react appropriately. As a problem solver, you might have to work on viewing these situations from an outside perspective so you can learn how to fix them. What would you say to a friend who was going through the same thing?
    Danielle @ The T-Rex Runner recently posted…A New Country and…A MarathonMy Profile

    January 12, 2017 at 8:48 am
    • Reply suzlyfe

      That is what my therapist and I both discussed–if this was someone else, I totally would just work with it! I just need to figure out how to stop the freakout first so that I can work from there.

      January 13, 2017 at 10:21 am
  • Reply Michelle

    Gosh, this is me on a daily basis!!!
    Michelle recently posted…2017 goalsMy Profile

    January 12, 2017 at 8:49 am
    • Reply suzlyfe

      I know! I’ve seen it in you.

      January 13, 2017 at 10:20 am
  • Reply Jessica Marie @ FlashFitTrainer

    Oh man, that’s real. So real. My own anxiety focuses a lot around if I’ve hurt other people in any way or on how “weird and awkward” I am. Writing it out makes it seem dumb, but it’s so real.
    Jessica Marie @ FlashFitTrainer recently posted…4 Golden Nuggets from Pumping IronMy Profile

    January 12, 2017 at 8:51 am
    • Reply suzlyfe

      Not dumb at all–so real indeed.

      January 13, 2017 at 10:20 am
  • Reply Kim

    Great post! I think we all need a continual reminder that we are ALL human and guaranteed to make mistakes. Love the idea of talking to yourself as you would a friend or client!
    Kim recently posted…Shakeo-ing My HeadMy Profile

    January 12, 2017 at 8:52 am
    • Reply suzlyfe

      If we all did that, we would be so much happier!

      January 13, 2017 at 10:19 am
  • Reply Suzlyfe's mommy, Clare

    Pot-Kettle–black

    January 12, 2017 at 9:15 am
  • Reply Jennifer @ Fit Nana

    I tend to be a perfectionist and I am quick to assign blame to myself even if it wasn’t my fault. I don’t even understand it but man, can I make myself feel like crap for something I had nothing to do with. :/ I’ve gotten a lot better but there are days when I just want to stick my head in a hole in the ground. I find that I do it more in personal relationships than in a professional environment. I can admit my fault at work without any remorse – I guess that’s where I “adult” best – but, when it comes to personal things, I can’t stand screwing up or even thinking I’ve screwed up.
    Jennifer @ Fit Nana recently posted…TOL #10 – WHY I TOOK OFF MY FITBITMy Profile

    January 12, 2017 at 10:00 am
    • Reply suzlyfe

      I just don’t do well with blame or confrontation in any realm. Need to get better about tolerating that.

      January 13, 2017 at 10:17 am
  • Reply Esther

    You are def not alone if dealing with these feelings girl!
    Realizing what is causing some of the anxiety is such great progress!
    Big big hugs!! ❀️❀️

    January 12, 2017 at 10:03 am
    • Reply suzlyfe

      Always at work! Thank you, Esther!

      January 13, 2017 at 10:11 am
  • Reply Laura @ This Runner's Recipes

    I understand how you feel on this so much. I have the tendency to search for my responsibility in everything and treat it as if it’s my fault (Midwestern guilt is real!). And I totally get you on the degree thing – just remember that a degree is so much more than the career – it’s about the skills you learned and how you apply them to all of life. I essentially got my master’s for free (of charge, not free of hard work) and feel bad about not using it…even though I use the critical thinking, research, and writing skills every day.
    Laura @ This Runner’s Recipes recently posted…When a Runner Learns to SnowboardMy Profile

    January 12, 2017 at 11:53 am
    • Reply suzlyfe

      Maybe I am a Midwesterner by nature even more than I imagined! And you definitely put those skills to work every day!

      January 13, 2017 at 10:11 am
  • Reply Ellen @ My Uncommon Everyday

    I get ya. I’ll always be harder on myself than anyone else (which is saying kind of a lot because I have high standards…). I think my desire to avoid being at fault is part of the reason I hate making decisions (if it is the wrong one or someone else doesn’t like it, IT IS MY FAULT), and I’m sure I have other tendencies with the same root.
    Something that really helps me with that is knowing that I’ve been wrong/made mistakes/been at fault plenty of times… and no one really cared that much. That isn’t to say they didn’t cause hurt or mess up plans or whatever, but ultimately I messed up (as people do), the world didn’t end, and I didn’t turn into a pariah.
    Ellen @ My Uncommon Everyday recently posted…Thinking Out Loud #78My Profile

    January 12, 2017 at 1:16 pm
    • Reply suzlyfe

      I think we all have to remember that what might mean SO MUCH to us might mean basically nothing to someone else. Perspective is a bitch.

      January 13, 2017 at 10:10 am
  • Reply AdjustedReality

    Oh my gosh, I get this. We all make mistakes, but it’s so much easier to forgive other people and not ourselves…

    By work, I’m a manager, and I’m quick to say anything that happens (within my team) is my fault, but when I get praised, I’m also quick to make sure they know my team is awesome and it’s really their accomplishment. Why do we do this? I guess I’ve been party to slimeballs who have been the other way (take credit for the good, throw other people under the bus for the bad stuff), and I want to make sure I don’t do that. But my job is to manage a team, when they succeed, I should feel like I succeed, right? πŸ™‚

    January 12, 2017 at 1:51 pm
    • Reply suzlyfe

      I think you definitely should! Your team’s success is a reflection of your management–that means you are bringing people who might have the most disparate personalities and making magic out of it.

      January 13, 2017 at 10:09 am
  • Reply Suzlyfe's mommy, Clare

    You already know EXACTLY what I am going to say, so let’s just get it out on the page now–it’s my fault……
    [OK, this is my third attempt to comment on this post. The other ones got eaten by the blog-gods. (its THEIR fault)]
    Along with your stellar wit, your blond hair, your passion for horses and your colon “mis-adventures” you inherited the “Its my fault” gene straight from me…..and, I’m sorry, because it is my fault.
    Along with my version of that gene comes the “I’m sorry” reaction. When someone across the table from me spills a glass of wine, the first words out of any mouths at the table are “I’m sorry” from MY lips.
    That spillage was not my fault but I immediately apologize b/c someone got inconvenienced and I was in the area.
    Finally, after years/decades of therapy, I have come to believe that I am NOT at fault, sometimes its just bad luck, a misalignment of the planets….

    When you were diagnosed with Crohns, it was my fault–my family had/still has serious colon diseases. As you journey down this infertility path, that is also my fault–you got the hormonal issues from me.
    My total lack of ego has kept me from believing that I deserve to be taking up space on this planet–because I might be taking up the space of someone who is more worthy to have that space.

    But, you know what? I am finally starting to believe that I do deserve to have this space on this planet. After 63 years, I have tended my little patch of earth and….I like it.

    When I look at you, I don’t see money and time wasted on the wrong degree, a digestive nightmare, a hormonal disaster, I see an extremely, incredibly, brave young woman who is sharing her belief in living beyond expectations with the world.

    Very simply, when I see you, Suse, you are not my fault, YOU are my greatest gift.

    January 12, 2017 at 3:00 pm
    • Reply suzlyfe

      LOVE YOU. Honestly, a lot of it comes from Dad as well–we were always apologizing to him for some reason, and reprimanding was the worst possible thing to happen to you.

      January 13, 2017 at 10:03 am
  • Reply Heather @ Polyglot Jot

    This is so true for me too, Susie. I do the same thing when I perceive something as my fault. I often get so afraid and so anxious if/when I find out that I’m at fault or I think I’m at fault. I’m working on this too!
    Heather @ Polyglot Jot recently posted…1st Trimester FavoritesMy Profile

    January 12, 2017 at 7:11 pm
  • Reply Coco

    I usually feel horrified when I realize something is my fault. I’m not too bad about blaming myself when it’s not my fault, though. ((hugs))

    January 12, 2017 at 9:44 pm
    • Reply suzlyfe

      I don’t generally gratuitously blame myself, but when it is my fault, I crumble.

      January 13, 2017 at 10:02 am
  • Reply Lauren @ Lauren Runs

    Sure – I’m always pretty hard on myself when I messed up. But I’ve come to realize that these mistakes will usually not get me dumped/divorced, or fired (by boss or friends), and that it’s better to recover gracefully. And I’ve got to focus on what makes me happy, so unless I messed up really in that area, I’m not too worried. Mantras and trying to do more meditation has really helped me chill more in this area of my spirit. Take a deep breath, and remember, you’re only human! πŸ™‚
    Lauren @ Lauren Runs recently posted…Three Things Thursday #26My Profile

    January 12, 2017 at 9:47 pm
    • Reply suzlyfe

      What are you talking about? I AM SUPPOSED TO BE SUPER HUMAN

      January 13, 2017 at 10:02 am
  • Reply jill conyers

    It was a long journey and a few lessons learned the hard way, but in a nutshell I have stopped owning what isn’t mine to own. I will most certainly own up to my mistakes and more importantly learn from them but that’s it. Mine and only mine.

    Great read Suz!
    jill conyers recently posted…Tone and Tighten Core Circuit Workout with Free DownloadMy Profile

    January 13, 2017 at 3:59 am
    • Reply suzlyfe

      Thank you, Jill. I readily own up to my mistakes, but now I need to learn to work forward from them

      January 13, 2017 at 10:01 am
  • Reply Amazing Chili Powder Free Slow Cooker Turkey Chili (Gluten Free) | Gluten Free Web

    […] all, I had quite the conversation with my therapist yesterday regarding the issue at hand from my Therapy Thoughts post . I decided to go back next week to continue our conversation (and also because it will be nearing […]

    January 13, 2017 at 5:23 am
  • Reply Jessica

    Love this post. This has been a lesson in my home too this week! It’s something I say all the time to my kids. Don’t worry about the mistake, remember the lesson.

    January 13, 2017 at 6:12 am
    • Reply suzlyfe

      Something that I am still struggling to learn. I hope I do by the time I’m a parent!

      January 13, 2017 at 10:01 am
  • Reply Suzlyfe's mommy, Clare

    One other note–as you well know, I was and raised in the “Old South” in a very Catholic house.
    Women were expected to not only accept that life’s “misadventures” (what a perfect proper word for #$@t happens) were their responsibility, they were also expected to correct those errors of life for everyone.

    This created a full circle mindset…….it’s my fault, and therefore my responsibility to fix it.

    This comes from the fingers of a southern belle who was born at 2:30 pm on her DUE DATE!
    I started early to accept the responsibility of making sure no one was inconvenienced by me….and I’m still apologising for interrupting my dad’s golf game.

    No one ever really said that to me, but my arrival did interrupt his game, and like that spilled glass of wine across the table… I’m sorry….is my immediate reaction. No exclamation point here, it has taken me decades to be able to put a period at the end of that previous paragraph.
    I’m making progress!!!!
    Mommy

    January 13, 2017 at 8:57 am
    • Reply suzlyfe

      You’ve been apologizing for being born for far too long. You don’t have to apologize to anyone!!! LOVE YOU

      January 13, 2017 at 10:00 am
      • Reply Suzlyfe's mommy, Clare

        And I have finally stopped apologizing—–I’m glad I’m here!

        January 13, 2017 at 12:30 pm
  • Reply Alyssa

    Love how you said life is all about reactions. That is SO True. Because we can’t control everything in our lives. But what we can control is how we react to certain things thrown at us.
    Alyssa recently posted…Push past your FearMy Profile

    January 13, 2017 at 9:53 am
    • Reply suzlyfe

      And it is so hard to control those reactions. But we do what we can!

      January 13, 2017 at 2:24 pm
  • Reply Kristy from Southern In Law

    I am often a bit of a basket case when I think something was my fault because I’m an uber perfectionist and tend to always have my $#!+ together, however, in the last two years I’ve really realised that oh hey! I’m actually a human and am incapable of being perfect.

    The best way I’ve found to deal with it was to treat myself like a friend. Would I be upset at them? No. So why would I treat myself so differently?
    Kristy from Southern In Law recently posted…Recent Things: Unexpected House Guests, Unicycles and SketchesMy Profile

    January 15, 2017 at 1:13 am
    • Reply suzlyfe

      I always tell other people to treat themselves as friends… if only it was so easy to do it myself!

      January 17, 2017 at 1:49 pm
  • Reply Jenn

    I felt like I was reading something I’d written. You’re very brave to be so transparent and authentic. I know people will say “It’s all about how you react / what you do w/ those feelings” etc., but I think the starting point is speaking to your inner self with care, and letting yourself know that mistakes are okay. Somewhere along the line, someone told you they weren’t, or told you that you were only valuable for the positives you bring to the table (conditional love, moody parents, judgmental peers) – and so it makes sense to me that the critical voice we have, is actually a re-mix of previous voices we’ve encountered. For me, undoing that voice is a difficult but worthy process, before being able to work on my external actions, and I think we can get there with patience and self-care. Thank you again πŸ™‚

    January 16, 2017 at 10:28 am
    • Reply suzlyfe

      Jenn, as you were feeling that you were reading something you’d written, I felt like I was reading a mirror to my life: someone along the way told me that mistakes were not ok. Yes, indeed. And now we go about just that: undoing the voice. Have you been successful?

      January 17, 2017 at 1:50 pm
      • Reply Jenn

        Each day is different, but I think what makes me successful in this is the desire to be whole, more than the desire to be “happy”. I’ve been re-learning to pick the right men, focus on the right relationships, be more honest with myself, create things, read other people’s stories, expressing my voice more, letting myself be sad sometimes about losses instead of distracting myself out of my sadness, catching myself before saying “sorry” out of reflex, and valuing my positives the way I value them in others. It’s tough to use small thoughts and words to undo years of conditioning, but when you add them up and stay consistent, I believe they really make a difference, and so I am deeply thankful to have read what you wrote, and believe that you will continue to inspire yourself and others, the way you’ve inspired me. Thank you πŸ™‚

        January 17, 2017 at 2:21 pm
        • Reply suzlyfe

          Thank you so much for each thoughtful comment, Jenn. You are inspiring and educating ME. And I am literally about to head out the door to my therapy appointment, so this is perfect timing. Thank. YOU.

          January 17, 2017 at 2:26 pm
          • Jenn

            Haha, I have mine today too πŸ™‚ enjoy it! and have a wonderful week.

            January 17, 2017 at 2:27 pm
  • Reply Anne

    You don’t know me, but this resonates so much with me. And, not only is it ALWAYS my fault (even when it’s not) – I’m also always apologizing! Sorry is one of my most-uttered words… whether I need to be truly sorry or not! I just have to say, though, that the letter from your doc (presumably about the error in the med refill, etc.) sounds a bit…over the top? for a first-time issue? I don’t know, maybe it’s just me, but as a health care provider I would have maybe taken a different approach. I understand protocols, valuable time, etc., but still – people are human, after all. And trust me, you are not the last person to have something like that happen! Just my $0.02… And if I misinterpreted / misunderstood, I’m … sorry. πŸ˜‰

    January 17, 2017 at 3:57 pm
    • Reply suzlyfe

      It was from a nurse, and one that is usually pretty compassionate, but I agree with you–and so does my husband, who is also a health care provider!–some tact and feeling was definitely missing. Personally, I think that they should have a reminder that gets sent out to remind you. It could easily be automated, too!
      And don’t you apologize… ;D

      January 18, 2017 at 7:33 pm
  • Reply San

    I hear you. It’s especially hard when something is perceived your fault when it’s actually something that is or was out of your control… I am a control freak and when I can’t control something? It makes me crumble.
    But you’re right: it’s about reaction (ha, I tell my husband that every day – he’s the one with anxiety!) and yet, it’s so hard to apply advice to oneself sometimes!
    San recently posted…January Link LoveMy Profile

    January 18, 2017 at 7:02 pm
    • Reply suzlyfe

      Stopping that innate reaction is so hard, but it is my next big challenge. I want to be able to control it to some extent before I have kids, and I am told what I am doing wrong ALL the time!

      January 18, 2017 at 7:34 pm

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