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Regret #sharesomethinginspiring

Regret.

droid regret

Regret is a word that gets bandied about like “fear” or “hate.” Recently, I have come across two mentions of the word that caused me to once again consider how I really felt about the word and what it means in my life.

One of these thought-sparking moments came from a “secret” from the 10 Day You Challenge (that I was actually going to start today, but decided to talk about this instead). In her comment, Sara (who I a) adore and b) totally see where she is coming from) cried foul on when people declare that they wouldn’t go back and change their past because their mistakes have molded who they are today. She goes on to say, and rightfully so, that she finds it hard to believe that, regardless of how great someone’s life is, that there isn’t one single thing that they wouldn’t go back and change.

Two: As part of the #sharesomethinginspiring campaign, Lorna Jane of Lorna Jane Active tweeted a quote by Lucille Ball, one that we all know and love: “I’d rather regret the things I’ve done than regret the things I haven’t done.”

lucille ball love swimsuit

What does regret mean to me, and why am I bringing up this discussion?

Also, don’t get me wrong, I love a good “YOU WILL RUE THE DAY” threat. It just makes me laugh.

In my mind, “regret” is like “fear”: Fear corresponds with a rise of emotion in response to anticipation of a real bodily or emotional/moral threat. Likewise, “regret” is not just about “well, shucks, I shoulda had the grilled chicken wrap instead of the doubledown.”  Regret is not about “shoulda.” Regret corresponds to a compromise of morality, principles, or standards. I used to think that I regretted certain decisions, like the one to go to Columbia. I felt so much guilt about the fact that I didn’t think Columbia taking me in the direction that I wanted to go. I felt guilty that I was making Alex deal with the long distance thing, that my parents were paying for my schooling. I was angry that I didn’t see what was going on, that I hadn’t chosen the right path that would help me realize my dreams to pursue my passion. I regretted not staying at UVA to get my Masters and PhD in Architectural History or my design degree to practice architecture. I felt that I regretted my decision.

In short, I felt that I regretted not making enough out of my life.

If we are going to talk about real things, we must go to the center of all learning EVER. The Academical Village at UVA.

If we are going to talk about real things, we must go to the center of all learning EVER. The Academical Village at UVA.

But, looking back at the whole situation, did I regret my decision? Would I go back and change it, stay at UVA and go after my other options?

If you had asked me then, HELL YES. But ask me know.

Susie, do you regret going to Columbia? Do you regret the fact that you are essentially a professional failure in architecture and historic preservation? Do you regret that your parents bled money to give you a future that you have been unable to repay? Do you regret that you are throwing away their money, your future, to become a lowly little personal trainer, a profession that anyone can secure?

columbia graduation suzlyfe

First off, &^(%(&^(&^%&^$*&$% you.

Secondly. NO, I do not regret my decision.

When I made the decision to go to Columbia, I did not make it lightly–I really did struggle with my choice. But I made the decision that I though was best: with the knowledge I had as to what the program would offer me, where the degree would take me, and who the famed “Columbia Network of Connections” would introduce me to, I thought there was no way that I wouldn’t be able to make rainbows and unicorns appear, albeit after time apart from my boyfriend and following a significant investment.

This decision did not compromise me–it did not change who I was or cause me to act against what I stood for. I do not regret it. I made it, of my own volition, and I own it, whole-heartedly.

Would I change my decision? Again, if you had asked me not even that long ago, I would have answered with an emphatic yes. Now? I can’t say that I would.

In a Liebster Award questionnaire, I was asked if I could go back and talk to my younger self, what would I say? I answered “Nothing, because that would change who I am today.”

View More: http://chelseapatricia.pass.us/susieandalex

Columbia may not have taken me to where I thought I wanted to go, but it has brought me here, to where I am sitting, talking to you. Without Columbia, who knows if I would have started running the way I have? I started reading blogs while I was there, and became a big reader and runner to take breaks from my studies. Had I stayed in Charlottesville for my graduate studies, who is to say that Alex and I would even still be together; I needed to get out, to take a break. He needed to concentrate on boards, he needed the freedom to be able to study when he needed to, or go and play video games or work out at weird times. We could easily have self-sabotaged our relationship.

Professionally, I got the chance of a lifetime. And though Columbia did not pay off monetarily, I have gained a great deal of invaluable experiences: I have presented my own work at conferences and symposia; I got to indulge in drafting and a little bit of design; I got to work with people who wrote the books I had studied in the past; I wrote a thesis that led me to an editorial position on a book that is going to be published by Fordham and that brought a greater awareness to an era and community that otherwise might have not have gotten its due.

You can Visit my Thesis by Clicking on It

You can Visit my Thesis by Clicking on It

Most importantly, I learned to question myself, to believe in myself, to trust Alex and I as a unit beyond the easy road, to trust my love for him, to push myself harder mentally and physically than ever before, and, most importantly, to feel guilt but to know that it isn’t the end of the road.

 Do you agree with my understanding of regret, or have anything else to add? Play devil’s advocate!

 

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52 Comments

  • Reply Sue @ This Mama Runs for Cupcakes

    I do understand your feelings of regret. Are there things in my life that I would have done differently? HELL NO. All of the choices and events that have happened in my life make me who I am today. Had I never joined the Air Force I never would have met my hubby and in turn wouldn’t have the adorable boys that I have now. I don’t regret a thing.
    Sue @ This Mama Runs for Cupcakes recently posted…An Amazing Zooma “Racecation”!My Profile

    June 3, 2014 at 6:57 am
    • Reply suzlyfe

      Love it. Life is hard; it is meant to be worked for so that we can value it appropriately. I, like you, would trade the people that are around me for the world.

      June 3, 2014 at 2:48 pm
  • Reply Heather @ PrettyHealthyMostoftheTime

    Cliche but true answer: I don’t regret any of my major life decisions because they have shaped who I am today (plus I mean, haven’t we all seen the Butterfly Effect?!)

    I do regret other things though, like the fact that I took NO pictures before high school. I don’t even know what I looked like in middle school!

    p.s. It was fun reading more about you (in a non-creepy way of course!)
    Heather @ PrettyHealthyMostoftheTime recently posted…Menu Plan Monday #10: ConfessionsMy Profile

    June 3, 2014 at 7:17 am
    • Reply suzlyfe

      It’s ok, you are allowed to creep on me. I like it from you. I definitely have regretted not taking more pictures at certain events and times in my life. That is why I have hired someone to follow me around and photograph my life at all times, like a reality tv star.

      June 3, 2014 at 2:47 pm
  • Reply Deborah @ Confessions of a Mother Runner

    Interesting thoughts to consider. I don’t think I regret any major life decisions either. If you live wondering what if all the time, I think it would make it impossible to be happy in the present. Great post! Love the Lucille Ball quote.
    Deborah @ Confessions of a Mother Runner recently posted…Putting Bondi Bands through the Multi-sport testMy Profile

    June 3, 2014 at 7:29 am
    • Reply suzlyfe

      Thank you! And Lucille Ball is the female Yogi Berra of quotes. She was such a gem.

      June 3, 2014 at 2:45 pm
  • Reply Sarah @pickyrunner

    This post is amazing. I have similar feelings about my college education. I don’t feel like it was the right school for me and in a lot of ways, I regretted going there for the first 3 1/2 years I was there. I wanted to be at a school closer to home filled with more people like me, but that wouldn’t have allowed me to grow into the person I am now. Everything happens for a reason, and I’m glad you realize that as well. Because the person you are now is pretty awesome 🙂
    Sarah @pickyrunner recently posted…Bondi Bands {GIVEAWAY}My Profile

    June 3, 2014 at 7:41 am
    • Reply suzlyfe

      Thanks lovely, and I think you are pretty freaking awesome as well. But look what you have gained by going there–you have found yourself, running, and the blog. And I would be sad.

      June 3, 2014 at 2:44 pm
  • Reply Kate @ Baking in Yoga Pants

    There are decisions in my past that I don’t necessarily agree with now, or choices I made that I wouldn’t make today and with that being said, I have faith that the path I’ve taken has led me to where I am and that where I am is where I am meant to be. Great post per usual!!
    Kate @ Baking in Yoga Pants recently posted…Wedding Details I Would Do AgainMy Profile

    June 3, 2014 at 8:13 am
    • Reply suzlyfe

      Faith is so important, and in so many ways. For many, faith in a higher power allows them to continue to move forward, and to deal with problems as they come–to cope. Others have to have faith in their choices–to know that they acted with morality regardless. And I think that the one reinforces the other.

      June 3, 2014 at 2:41 pm
  • Reply Michael Anderson

    Here is a ‘devil’s advocate’ thought – you FEAR regret, because you fear the potential for a different outcome.

    For a while I regretted a job opportunity I passed up very early on, I regretted staying at my Massachusetts job for 15 years until 2007 while I had checked out by 2004, and I even regretted going to RPI for electrical engineering when I could have gone to University of Rochester – which had the best optical physics program in the country (which is where many of my professional accomplishments have been made). And I sure as heck regretted letting myself stay obese for so long, getting fat again, and not getting serious about running until my mid-40s.

    But those aren’t really ‘regrets’ as much as ‘second guesses’. I totally get what Sara says when she called everyone out on choices – because looking objectively it is more about the outcomes than the choices. We each do stupid things all the time, make plenty of choices we wished we could remake – but ordering the shrimp rather than chicken isn’t likely to have life-altering consequences.

    So instead we fear allowing ourselves to regret choices – because we are satisfied with the outcomes. I have a beautiful wife, wonderful marriage, and two great kids. Does that mean I cannot look back and think ‘imagine if I tried running in high school’. Would my family pictures be like Michael J. Fox in Back to the Future and start disappearing? Am I wishing away the wonderful things I DO have? Because it is fairly certain that if we altered major choices in our past, that our present and future would likewise experience some significant changes.

    It is an interesting exercise, but for me the big thing is this: does regret over choices more than a year old consume your thoughts? If so it is unproductive and potentially harmful and you might consider talking to someone. But if it is more of an ‘I wonder’ or ‘I should have’ thing – don’t sweat it 🙂
    Michael Anderson recently posted…Take Care Tuesday – The Other Side of the Finish Line, My ’9 Loves’My Profile

    June 3, 2014 at 8:27 am
    • Reply suzlyfe

      I love a good devil, and a good advocate, so you know I love you of all people playing devil’s advocate. We only seem to question the “wrong” choices, but what if we questioned the “right” ones as well? I really like that you ask if we would be wishing away the positives of our lives as well as the negatives–it is a similar guilt to that of making the “wrong” choice and having to deal with the consequences. As for the last point, something that I have learned is that life is about movement; you can either create it yourself or be left on the sidelines. I, for one, would prefer to run my own race.

      June 3, 2014 at 2:38 pm
      • Reply Michael Anderson

        Awesome – and totally agree. We can easily look back at pretty much every reasonable sized ‘fork in the road’ and ask what might have happened had we chosen differently. But as you conclude – life is about movement, time doesn’t stop for our hand-wringing, so … you made the choice, learn, move on and deal with it. 🙂
        Michael Anderson recently posted…Take Care Tuesday – The Other Side of the Finish Line, My ’9 Loves’My Profile

        June 3, 2014 at 4:17 pm
  • Reply Sara @ Life Between the Miles

    This was an amazing post and very well explained. I can 100% see your point and am glad you elaborated on it. I love learning more about you! I have to agree that in my big life decisions I am really happy with where I have come from and my decisions which have led me to where I am now, but there are many things that if I could go back and change (like staying in a previous relationship way too long) that I’d go back in a heartbeat and change because it was unfair to both of us and left us unable to be friends. I think my point with regret is I think often people want their life to “look perfect” to those outside that they sugar coat and pretend to save face and I don’t know, prove something?I’ve seen it in person when I know someone’s life story and hear them making grand statements like this (and others) and I’m always intrigued with why they can’t just be real and honest about themselves. I hope that makes sense. Either way, great post my friend!
    Sara @ Life Between the Miles recently posted…Weekly Wrap UpMy Profile

    June 3, 2014 at 8:33 am
    • Reply suzlyfe

      No, I completely understand, and I respected your opinion before and even more so understand your point now. And I totally agree with you–it is all in the delivery of how someone conveys the sentiment–the sugar coating is rampant. And I call BS alongside you!

      June 3, 2014 at 2:32 pm
    • Reply Michael Anderson

      Excellent point Sara – I think the only counterpoint is the ‘butterfly effect’. If you had ended that relationship earlier, then you might have started a new one, which could very well have changed your entire life trajectory including your husband and little one. For many people, if they feel happy they don’t want to ‘jinx it’ by questioning too much, so they leave it alone. But does that end up meaning that the ‘fear of regret’ is constraining them? And does that mean that fear of losing the present prevents them being honest to themselves about the past?

      Most of my actual regrets are small stuff – things that are really inconsequential in the big picture but that I would change in a second.
      Michael Anderson recently posted…Take Care Tuesday – The Other Side of the Finish Line, My ’9 Loves’My Profile

      June 3, 2014 at 4:23 pm
      • Reply suzlyfe

        Like I just said to Mom, I could say that I regret not insisting that we sell the horse that led to her almost getting killed, but who knows if she ever would have learned to stand up for herself in the same way if she hadn’t gone through it? And as I said to Courtney, I definitely have some “looks” that I regret, but now I know what NOT to wear!

        June 3, 2014 at 7:50 pm
        • Reply Michael Anderson

          haha on the ‘looks’ … and two thoughts:
          – I can and do wear pretty much the same things I did 30+ years ago – khakis and button-down shirts. The gym shorts are generally longer .. but now that I run
          more seriously’ I am definitely showing more thigh #eek!
          – I am sure girls from ‘my era’ regret many looks, but we were watching a Billy Joel in Moscow concert from the 1980s, and I was remarking how I just LOVE the way all of the women look – that (actually a bit earlier) was my ‘coming of age’ time, and I guess I will always be drawn to it for many things.
          Michael Anderson recently posted…Wednesday Wandering Mind, “I Run …”, Stopping the Streak, and My ’8 Fears’My Profile

          June 4, 2014 at 2:22 pm
          • suzlyfe

            I don’t think that pleather pants and crushed velvet boatnecks will ever be acceptable. (what I wore). But luckily, certain looks (khakis and button downs) are classic and timeless.

            June 4, 2014 at 5:47 pm
  • Reply Shawna

    you’ve obviously danced around with this issue a lot, and i give you a lot of credit for all the introspection and “uncomfortableness” surrounding such topics as “am i making the most of my life” and “did i turn out the way i should have?” i think we can all benefit from this sort of internal exploration and really reflecting upon the choices we’ve made and how they have shaped us into the people we are today. i’ve found myself saying things sometimes like this, that i wish i’d gone to a diff college or gone right for my PhD after undergrad or moved to California or or or or…but that’s simply it. there’s always going to be a “but” or an “or” and by dwelling on what we “could have done,” we minimize the beauty of what we HAVE done and who we are today. and the truth is, you simply never know. that’s what we love and hate — and love to hate — about this crazyawesomelife.
    i enjoyed this post. 🙂
    Shawna recently posted…it’s june and i like thatMy Profile

    June 3, 2014 at 8:44 am
    • Reply suzlyfe

      I really like your response–you, too, have quite apparently had to deal with such introspection. But I think that you really hit on an important point: you simply never know. Sure, I THINK that I could have accomplished certain other goals if I had made certain other choices, but there is absolutely no guarantee that I would have.

      June 3, 2014 at 2:27 pm
  • Reply Irene

    I get what your friend is talking about when she says she doubts that most people wouldn’t go back and change mistakes/things they’ve done in the past. At the same time I’ve been in the position that you have. For a while I thought moving to Utah from Minneapolis had been a mistake, but the more time I spent here, the more it became home, and I can’t imagine not living here now. I sometimes wonder what my life would be like if I had moved back to Minneapolis all those years ago, and that’s the closest I come to re-thinking my choices. I don’t regret them, but I wonder what if… It’s really hard to imagine my life being better than it is now, and I’m sure if I had moved back to Minneapolis several years ago, I’d be wondering what my life would be like if I had stayed in Utah.
    Irene recently posted…I’m Running!!My Profile

    June 3, 2014 at 8:53 am
    • Reply suzlyfe

      So, so true. There are always so many choices to make in our lives, and once we make them, we need to commit to them fullstop. Otherwise it will always be a “grass is greener” situation. It is impossible to imagine one’s life as it could have been–you would have become a totally different person if you made different choices!

      June 3, 2014 at 2:24 pm
  • Reply Caitlin

    I don’t regret much if anything because I don’t spend a lot of time in the past anymore, wondering if I did the right thing. I learned the hard way (more than once) that living in the past doesn’t do any good (for me….some people might find it helpful in some ways but I only find it detrimental). It keeps me from the present and in a very dark place. Every choice and mistake I’ve made has brought me to where I am today, and that’s a pretty good place for once. Sure some decisions weren’t the wisest, and I held onto some things waaaaaay longer than I should have, but all of that helped me grow into the strong person who trusts herself and her boy (who gave her the space she needed to grow and mess up and grow some more but was still always there and vice versa) that I am today. That wouldn’t be the case if I hadn’t done everything that I have so regret and living in the past? Not for me.
    Caitlin recently posted…Busy Is Fun For OnceMy Profile

    June 3, 2014 at 11:41 am
    • Reply suzlyfe

      Love it. I share your sentiments exactly. You should be able to learn from the past and act accordingly, but if you sit and question everything about your actions you will begin to question everything about who you are and, in time, who you will be. You can’t control the past or the future, you can only control the present and guide the future; for those of us who have dealt with disordered eating or anxiety, this is a really, really, terrifying prospect. It causes us to shut down ourselves and our lives. You end up spending your life trying to atone for your actions.
      I think that you are in an amazing place right now. And it is a totally different one from where you were even months ago. It is truly inspirational, and I love you, the person you are, and the person you are evolving into.

      June 3, 2014 at 2:17 pm
  • Reply Erica { EricaDHouse.com }

    Beautifully said!

    June 3, 2014 at 11:44 am
    • Reply suzlyfe

      Thank you!

      June 3, 2014 at 2:10 pm
  • Reply Hilary

    Oh I completely get what you are saying! In all honesty I thought I regretted going to the undergrad that I went to, but when I think about it if I wouldn’t have gone there all the good things and the friends I met and who I have become may not have happened. I am glad I had those experiences and it really grew me to be as independent as I am and I love that!
    Hilary recently posted…Pizza Tuesday- Treat Yourself!My Profile

    June 3, 2014 at 12:01 pm
    • Reply suzlyfe

      Precisely. I’m really glad that you are already gaining that sort of perspective–that is something that takes many of us years to figure out. We can only move forward, there is no sense in dwelling on the past!

      June 3, 2014 at 2:11 pm
  • Reply Courtney @RunningforCupcakes

    I’ve been pondering if there is anything in my life that I really regret after reading this and I truly can’t think of one thing. It had all led me to the life I have now, and I have seriously never been happier and more confident with who I am. Actually I do regret cutting my bangs by myself when I was 3… that was not a good look. Character building right?! But in all seriousness like you said everything we have done in life so far has led us to where we are now, and I wouldn’t change that for the world!
    Courtney @RunningforCupcakes recently posted…And so it begins…My Profile

    June 3, 2014 at 3:08 pm
    • Reply suzlyfe

      Oh, I have several haircuts that I can say I would redo, in a big way. Several pretty horrific pictures and some “outfits” and “looks” that were….um…special but I thought were AMAZEBALLS. COUGH Limited Too and WetSeal COUGH. I can agree with you there, I would change those. But at least now I know what NOT to wear, so there is that.
      I love hearing you say that you are at a place where you have never felt more happy or confident 😀 you have every reason to be.

      June 3, 2014 at 7:48 pm
  • Reply Susie's mommy, Clare

    long mommy response-sorry, but here it is–
    I do not have one moment of regret at our investment in your going to Columbia. NONE. The funds for your education there paid for a HELLUVA lot more than what Columbia taught or didn’t teach you.
    You had 2 years in the Big Apple. You learned to value, in a different way, your relationships with the people you truly love. Seeing them took a lot of effort and maybe that helped you solidify your knowledge of what or whom you did not ever want to be without.
    When I was about to graduate from Duke with a double major in psychology and art history, my parents wondered just WHAT I was going to do with those degrees. I had studied what I loved and I use those valuable lessons everyday. I may have gone into banking and then teaching, but I use those precious little psych tidbits everyday in this interesting world. I wouldn’t change those majors for all the tea in…..etc. They set me on this road that I love travelling down!
    I think regret is really about loss and I just don’t think that your 2 years getting that Masters at Columbia was a loss. It may have been the wrong direction, ultimately, but you made your decision after a great deal of thought and reflection.
    In 10 years, you may have a very different view of that time. “Hindsight may be 20/20” but sometimes hindsight isn’t all its cracked up to be.
    The one horse we should not have bought, when you look at it now on paper, was Brian. And yet, he is one of the greatest investments we have ever made. Like Columbia, his worth may not have been reflected in his monetary value or in the show ring. His worth is so much greater than any check could ever buy.

    June 3, 2014 at 3:24 pm
    • Reply suzlyfe

      I love my long mommy responses 🙂 she’s my favorite anyway. I like the idea of thinking of things that you might regret as “losses,” and though it may have taken me a while to get to this point, I totally agree–my time at Columbia was absolutely not a loss. Do I wish that it hadn’t cost quite so much? Sure, but I think that if my greatest “regret” about my time there was the cost of it, then I think I came out ahead. ANd every time I think about Columbia, I tie it with my running and true interest in fitness in a more comprehensive manner–not just recreationally. And I wouldn’t give up my running, my friends that I have gained from running, and the lessons that I have gleaned from my running. At Columbia, I discovered my love for fun and creative cooking as well. And Columbia taught Alex and I how to balance our relationship in a way that has enabled us to make it through whatever residency will throw at us.
      I could never regret Brian. Or Champ. Or even Lily. I can’t regret Jazz or Sam, they brought me Regal, who was one of the greatest lights of my life. I can regret not insisting Lad get sold, a) because it would have benefited us more greatly monetarily and b) you might not have gotten hurt, but you getting hurt opened you up to your own power. I would never, ever, wish for it to happen that way, but who knows what else might have happened. All I care about is the here and now–what we have in front of us, which will always be each other.

      June 3, 2014 at 7:45 pm
    • Reply Michael Anderson

      Awesome reply Claire – that really gave me ‘the feels’. We have sent each of our boys on fairly expensive trips out of the country in the past year – including the older one around Europe for much of last July, and while we could sit around and debate the ‘dollar to experience’ ratio, the reality is that it was an experience that will be with him forever, and as this school year progressed we saw more and more of those benefits playing out in his perspective and world-view.
      Michael Anderson recently posted…Wednesday Wandering Mind, “I Run …”, Stopping the Streak, and My ’8 Fears’My Profile

      June 4, 2014 at 3:47 pm
      • Reply suzlyfe

        She is kind of the bee’s knees, isn’t she? You both are pretty darn rockin, in my book.

        June 4, 2014 at 5:36 pm
  • Reply Lisa @ Running Out Of Wine

    I agree with what you’re saying…I think that many of the choices we make, even if they end up being the wrong choices, can teach us something. There was a reason that everything happened for you the way it did. Maybe taking a different path would have been easier, but who knows where that easier path would have taken you?
    Lisa @ Running Out Of Wine recently posted…Weekly Recap: Feeling GratefulMy Profile

    June 3, 2014 at 5:14 pm
    • Reply suzlyfe

      Absolutely. And to take that further, would you like the YOU that you became by taking the easier path.

      June 3, 2014 at 7:31 pm
  • Reply Ursula

    You’re so right. I often think “if only I’d done this or that” but my decisions brought me to where I am today and there’s no point in dwelling on that regret. In fact, I like my life today so kudos to my choices 🙂 I also love that you don’t regret your decisions because that’s how we grow as people. And you my dear are a pretty fantastic person!
    Ursula recently posted…Interview with Janelle Morrison: Professional TriathleteMy Profile

    June 3, 2014 at 6:13 pm
    • Reply suzlyfe

      Hahaha I love that–“kudos to my choices.”
      NO YOU ARE A MORE FANTASTIC PERSON 🙂

      June 3, 2014 at 7:32 pm
  • Reply Brianna @ I run He tris

    I think about this often but then realize that each major choice I have made has out me in the place I currently am. I love where I am now and episode change it. I do regret some smaller decisions dealing with relationships and how I handles certain situations. I try and use my regret as a teaching took though and do things differently going forward. I think it’s human nature to think “what if” but regret is not going to change the present.
    Brianna @ I run He tris recently posted…Dogs vs. ToddlersMy Profile

    June 3, 2014 at 7:47 pm
    • Reply suzlyfe

      No, it is not. It is only going to force you more staunchly into the past, like someone dwelling on the “one that got away.” There comes a point where you have to be appreciative of the time you had with them, but move on with your life so that others can share it with you.

      June 3, 2014 at 7:51 pm
  • Reply Lauren @ ihadabiglunch

    I love this post! I feel like you say exactly what i’m thinking 🙂 I’m in the process of getting out of PR in order to become a personal trainer, and although I’m only 1 year out of college and I paid for most of it myself, I still feel like “what was the point of even going if I just get a certification that anyone can get in four months?” But I wouldn’t go back and not go to Illinois…I met my best friends there and learned a lot about communication, being a barista, succeeding as a student, how to drink responsibly (lol), and how to do a sorority squat. So screw regret. It’s time to stop letting a WORD dictate my ACTIONS (and I’m going to write a post on that very soon, actually!) You da best and I bet you’re a killer companion at all the museums in the city! Let’s get together and talk about all the personal trainer nonsense soon 🙂
    Lauren @ ihadabiglunch recently posted…scenes from the weekendMy Profile

    June 4, 2014 at 2:31 pm
    • Reply suzlyfe

      Ummmmm YES YES AND YES. I’m so proud of you for working towards being a PT, and for being proud of who you are. PS the fact that you mentioned the sorority squat makes my LIFE. I think that college gives us more than we can ever gauge–it is where we truly grow up, and learn to socialize with the real world. Like in preschool/day care, you learn to socialize beyond your family. In grade school, it is about neurological development. But college is where we learn to be social, what social constructs are, and how to make choices for ourselves. They may be ones that we diverge from later on, but we learn to make them, and to stick to our guns for longer periods of time than just a single semester (you have to in order to declare a major).

      June 4, 2014 at 5:45 pm
  • Reply Katie @glutes and ladders

    I’m with you. There are a lot of things that earlier in my life I regretted and wish I would have changed. After a major injury my senior year of HS, I didn’t rehab my ankle properly, and as a result, that fall I was unable to play college volleyball. That really killed me at one point in time… but if I had played, I wouldn’t have joined my sorority. I wouldn’t have made the best friends that I have now. I wouldn’t have all those wonderful memories. Looking back, I wouldn’t change that.

    June 4, 2014 at 7:16 pm
    • Reply suzlyfe

      Good for you–I think that being a college athlete is so difficult, period–you are gaining an incredible opportunity often at the expense of another. And injuries such as the ones that take you out for season can truly be devastating, because it is all you know, especially coming out of HS. But look at how much you grew as a result!

      June 5, 2014 at 8:15 am
  • Reply Cassie

    This is awesome, Suz! So thought provoking. I feel like you can’t go back and know if something was the right choice until a) your head is in a good place and b) the dust has settled. For example, I regretted being a drunken idiot and saying things I didn’t mean to my (then) boyfriend. He broke up with me. A year and a half later, here I am, potentially happier than I ever could have been with him. Cassie a year ago would still be wanting to fix things… Cassie now… she’s fine with what happened. Maybe not so dramatically, but how would I know how things played out for me now if that didn’t happen?
    Cassie recently posted…Pittsburgh Restaurant Round-UpMy Profile

    June 4, 2014 at 7:31 pm
    • Reply suzlyfe

      This is a perfect example of the “classic” regret story, the idea of the “one that got away,” but also the importance of accepting what happened and moving on to bigger and better things. I can’t imagine the mental battle you went through to arrive at this state of mind, but good for you.

      June 5, 2014 at 8:18 am
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