Happy 4th of July to all!
Did you read my last post about our action (and learning and illness) packed trip to the beach?
Catch Up 7/5
1). So where I last left you, We had finally gotten home Saturday night and were exhausted and falling into bed. Unfortunately for Alex, Zoe the cat was NOT exhausted and was very happy to have him home and kept pouncing on him during the night. I had problems of my own with serious night sweats, but I woke up Sunday morning without a headache, just still exhausted and also still feeling nauseated as well as the effects of gastroparesis. I had a bag of Teddy Grahams for breakfast.
Alex was a champ even though I know he was still exhausted and fed Em so I could get a little more rest, and then he carried the team thoroughout the day. He did groceries, unpacked, vaccummed, got lunch and the dog from boarding, made his own lunches (normall I do this), studied up on his patients, got dinner (for him, I couldn’t considered eating still), did bath, and put Emmie to bed. I was just starting to feel a bit normal right before we went to bed.
But we weren’t sure, so we called in my mom for back up. As of midday Sunday, I still wasn’t doing well. I had needed to call over Alex while doing a diaper change so I could run to the bathroom, I could barely eat, and I didn’t necessarily trust myself to be out with Em and definitely not to drive. So thankfully my mom could come up for a day or two until I stabilized, which I thankfully did overnight and into the morning.
Monday I woke up feeling much better–my nausea was gone, and my appetite returned over the day. I still had some aversions, but I could at least look at food. I felt fine playing with Emmie (girl had energy that morning!) and then going to Sbux and later Yolk with Mom and Emmie. I started to feel a bit like me again. Aka chocolate sounded good. Because I hadn’t wanted chocolate in days. You know I was sick!
I’m writing this post Thursday, and my appetite as only just now returned. Other than my food poisoning etc this March, I cannot remember any other time that I have been this off of my food (even while I was pregnant!)
So that was problem 1
2) Problem 2 came Tuesday, when I went to see the bone doctor for the follow up to my stress fracture. Unfortunately, in the last few days of our trip and the days since getting home, I was noticing my hip more and more, and feeling a slight ache that didn’t go away. I could have just glossed over it during my appointment and gotten the go ahead, but I know/knew better and told her the full story.
As a result, I am back on house arrest and crutches as much as possible for the next week or two. I need to get back to 100% pain free (like I was when we left for the beach) and then a very very slow reintroduction to walking. Slower than to a beach house with a lot of stairs.
I honestly wasn’t that surprised. I had rising anxiety the entire morning about how the hip wasn’t better and that she would be putting me back on crutches for 2 weeks. The fact that she only said 1 week and then a slower wean was actually improved news.
But as you know, injury recovery is never linear, even in microcosm–my hip still has an achy pull to it, and it + some tightness in my belly led to a mini meltdown (just a light cry rather than a full on sob) on Wednesday.
3) I am tired of being broken (literally). I think I have the ability to put up with a lot, but it has been 4 months of physical disappointment. The one bright spot in all of it led to my stress fracture, and I just keep feeling like my body is never going to heal.
Yes, I know that it will heal, or at least I believe that it actually will. But the stress of worrying that my body isn’t responding to the medications and that we might have to switch meds + my body isn’t responding positively to my recovery and we might have to offload me again or even more… it is exhausting. And half of the time, sleep itself is exhausting. I pretty much assume night sweats and crazy dreams.
I just want to feel like me again.
Oh, outpouring over, positive pants back on (they literally and metaphorically barely fit any more thanks to inactivity and prednisone hunger). I have to find the humor in it, even if it is a little dark.
4) While I have kind of been falling apart, Emmie has had a great week. She is working on talking more and more! She doesn’t talk much on her own stead apart from Daddy and Doggy, but with a little prompting and “Can you say,” she is trying out more and more words.
We also now say “mwah” with kisses and give an agressive blown kiss.
Totally random attempts at greatness: She has been trying to put on her own shoes but has been unsuccessful as of yet. Also, we got our first rear of head pony, but I am trying to figure out how to make it work with her hair in front.
She had a great time at our friend’s 4th of July party (it was so nice to see my friends from Strides because I have hardly seen them). They had a lovely backyard and set up fun activity for the kids, but mostly Emmie wanted to do the stairs and also to dump the dogs’ water bown on herself.
5) This weekend is going to be relatively low key. We don’t really have any plans as of yet other than Alex having to work part of Saturday (which he will have to do every other month during his FINAL FELLOWSHIP). I’ll be crutching and living the dream as always. No swim this weekend or next, and Ryan and Ali have been sick, so we will see if they are finally well enough to hangout with! We haven’t seen them in WEEKS and Ryan was sick last time, too! Feel better Ry!