Getting deep. You’ve been warned. Reflections on our big ole trip last week.
The Charlottesville portion of our trip was really freaking fabulous, and totally different from the Roanoke portion. In Roanoke, we focused on connecting with others, we ate in a lot, we stayed close to home (with a few good long walks thrown in), and though of course we spent a great deal of time talking on and off with each other, we really spent the majority of the time with others and spent time together through other people.
Charlottesville was about us getting back on the same page, in a lot of ways. Not that we were “disconnected,” really, but really we just haven’t had that much of a chance to see each other! Before our trip, we hadn’t slept in the same bed in over a week, and many of the days the week before, between all of my social outings and his shifts, we had multiple days when we didn’t see each other period! So not only did Alex need a reset from night float, but we needed a reset as a couple–just to get on the same energy and such.
In Charlottesville, we toured around in the car, went to see what had changed, we ate out largely, and we hunted down our favorite old haunts. Truly, this was a greatest hits list of our Cville places. Like most people, we connect and connected over food, and our mutual love of food and drinks, and my desire to learn more and to spread that knowledge. So from Skybar and Bang
to lunches at Little John’s, Eppie’s, and the Virignian,
to going to Whole Foods (it had just been redone when I graduated and is one of the best Whole Foods, period, and I have a lot of sentimentality for it) and Harris Teeter (where we had our grocery shopping “dates” on Sundays),
to Orzo (one of our date night spots and where I worked when I came back to Cville after graduate school)
and Fry’s Spring Station (where I stoked my love for pizza, and one of our sacred date night spots)
and over cocktails (Monday night), wine (Tuesday night), and beer (Wednesday night),
we generally just indulged in what felt right. Did we over eat? Yup. Do we both feel quite blobbish? Yup. Was it worth it? Well, my body might beg to differ, but mentally, yes, absolutely. This trip was about seeking the balance between control and letting go, and I think that we both found that. I still got my work done, but I also absolutely relaxed. I had salads and I ordered that entree that I actually wanted. And ate it (more of it than I wanted, actually!). Did I even miss my ice cream while we were in Cville?
No, actually. I got it in Roanoke (along with the pie and everything else they had out!). I “fought” the battles that I cared about–not ordering beer Thursday but just helping Alex–and realized the battles that weren’t worth it–c’mon, put your favorite pizza and a buffalo chicken pizza in front of you and see if you can resist.
I worked out, but I took rest days. I worked on the blog, but I didn’t answer comments or get bogged down in the nitty gritty. I did work, but I also let them take care of things. Some days I wore make up, some days I didn’t. I had a Diet Freaking Coke when I wanted, and I laid off the caffeine when it felt right.
Was this a sustainable way for me to live long term? In every aspect, likely not–too much rich food, too much heavy eating in the evening, too much alcohol. But there are certainly some aspect that I hope to roll into my everyday life–namely, continuing these healthy and happy attitudes towards my food, exercise, and my relationships with work and family. To know that I can have a week of being relaxed, but “always keeping the path in my sights, though I may stray from it,” as I spoke about. To have the willpower to know that I still need to keep in mind my long term goals (Phoenix) and stretch, roll, and get in exercise as it fits in with OUR schedule. And being flexible–telling Alex that we can rearrange just fine, though at first I would be thinking that we needed to have some sort of agenda.
The difference in my mentality and how I approach myself from this time last year to now is perhaps what I am most proud of, of all the growth of this year. I think that all the accomplishments of the year–risky job decisions, pursuing my happiness (as a means to also promote greater happiness), going after another marathon, believing in myself and my ability to gauge what needs to be done, keeping our family together as I basically become a couple with Zoe, meeting people and putting myself out there in all sorts of ways–I think I am finally treating myself like an adult. Like a peer.
You know that phrase: treat yourself as if you were someone that you love? I think that I am getting there.
My New Year’s resolution for 2015: continue to love myself, and to use this love to love my life. Continue to treat myself as an esteemed peer, and to treat others in the same way. And to encourage others to treat themselves the same.
Am I going to fail at times? Sure. Who knows what is to come. But, dammit, I’m gonna try.
What do you think? Do you treat yourself like a peer? Do you treat yourself better or worse than your peers?
Any other big epiphanies happen out there this past week?