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Dealing with Infertility: IVF + Mental Health Update

Stopping in for an IVF update and how I’m doing physically and mentally as we try to deal with my infertility and make a baby the new fashioned way!

Thank you to Amanda for the opportunity to Think Out Loud and Gretch and Kristen for What’s New with You!

IVF Update

We are now past Day 5 of IVF stimulation meds (see this post for understandable info on the IVF Protocol and Process!) and I’ve had to make serious lifestyle changes. That means no running or exercise that involves contorting the body (like yoga or hip flexion) and no sex, and I have cut myself off from alcohol.

I have nothing to live for It’s annoying, but I am dealing with it.

I went in for my second ultrasound and labs today, and they called yesterday afternoon to say that my body is a lemon my estrogen levels are still low, so they are upping the Follistim / Gonal F, or, as Alex so excellently said, the “twisty” and not the “mixy.” (I thought that was hilarious). Yes, my dear doctor husband, the twisty. My estrogen has gone up, but not nearly as much as they would like. BUT, as the nurse did say, this is why we check early on and make sure that we have the right dosage. So now we way for Friday, when I will have my next round of US and labs and see where we are then!

Physically Feeling

Physically, I still feel the same. I ran Tuesday, and yesterday (Wednesday) I bundled up and took the bus to my appointment then walked home (about 3 miles). I was also bundling up because I had to take Ridley out that morning and it was 10 degrees outside. So I had on a helluva lot of layers, and only my eyes could be seen. But between walking her and the walk back, I got in 10,000 steps, so that made me feel pretty decent. I “wanted” to do some weights later, but I didn’t really, so I didn’t, and I just walked a little bit more inside (trying to finish my book) and called it a day. 

And now we are back to Chiberia.

I’m not going to lie–there was a part of me that was thinking, “I feel fine, I don’t feel xyz, I’m sure a little running won’t hurt.” But I reminded myself that I am in it to win it. But I did have to run a little bit with Ridley to try to wear her out. But I’m being very careful.

As of right now, I’m not feeling that bloated or moody, but I am having (sorry guys) spotting, which they said was normal after coming off birth control. I was still impressed, considering, well, this isn’t the first time I’ve come off birth control! So, you go, body! You get that spotting! But, of course, that doesn’t mean much (see above), and it still isn’t going to be an easy road. But it made me feel pretty good.

My skin is still messed up, but it is less itchy. The pityriasis rosea seems to be stabilizing, and not creating new spots, but I still feel less that cute. So while I may not be bloated and PMS-y yet, I do have that to contend with mentally. Fortunately (?), it is winter, so I am pretty much covered from head to toe at all times. 

Mentally Feeling

I’m happy with my approach and relationship with food as well: I’m continuing my “marathon diet without marathon training” regimen and keeping my calories high with a focus on getting all the good stuff and making sure that I get my healthy fats in. I will admit that I’m having a lot of sugar and candy right now, and I’m reaching for a few too many convenience foods (like bars and such), but nothing that is that unhealthy or counterproductive. And we can’t all be perfect.

Like this weekend, I ate cookies and Cracker Jack after a huge dinner and more, because I have no will power but also because you know what? F it. It’s not going to kill me, it was fun, and it’s all for Yoshi! And it was delicious.

I had a conversation with my therapist/shrink on Tuesday that was really eye opening with regards to how self critical I can be. On this blog, I know that I come across as this positive, confident, and secure person (well, I think I come across as one of those things at any one time), and while I am not the type that sits there and hates on myself, I definitely tend to see the imperfections in myself first. I know that I am a good egg, but I see my speckles first. Especially when it comes to my career and my expectations of my career. I’m feeling another Therapy Thoughts post brewing…

I’m going to cut out early and go snuggle with my puppy and husband. And yes, that is all that we are going to do, because you know we aren’t allowed to do anything else.

But first, I am going to go get a snack. Hey, it’s all for Yoshi, right? 😀

Tell me something fun and exciting in your life!

Cracker Jack, Chips, or Pretzels?

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