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Insult to Illness (Home from the Hospital 3/19)


Well, goodness, my friends. Coming at you on a totally different day just to get you all caught up and hopefully put the nail in these past 2 weeks of UGH. Let’s get you caught up.

Last we talked, I got you caught up with an update on my Crohn’s Disease flare and IVF journey. I thought that post would be the last big post that I would need to write for a while regarding big health issues for me. BUT NO.

Wednesday, the day that I wrote my last post, I was feeling great. I went to Strides, Alex and I went to the Exploratorium with Ali, Ryan, Holly and Max, and then we went to family dinner with Ali, Ryan, and Justin. We had an amazing time at dinner–the girls were hilarious together, and by the end, Emmie was reaching out and holding Ryan’s hand in the cutest possible way. Like YOU ARE MY BESTIE I LOVE YOU.

I was feeling good, feeling positive. Then I woke up around 1 AM with the beginnings of nausea, and by 6 I started having unrelenting diarrhea (you know you can handle it). Between nausea and urgency, I packed it in and spent the day in bed. I honestly don’t even remember if I ate?

Zofran (anti-nausea) did little to help, and we found out around 3 PM when I started high volume projectile vomiting what I had eaten the night before. Per Alex, I was dealing with gastroparesis, basically, my stomach stopped, in a sense, and nothing past beyond it. So my upper half and lower half were just doing their own thing. Both were just not having it.

This continued throughout the day, and we had a repeat of both episodes a few times. Thank you to Alex for being my caretaker and getting me popsicles and Gatorade and ginger ale after putting Emmie down. Literally all I wanted was a popsicle and a lemon lime Gatorade.

I slept through the night, and woke up feeling better! Well enough to get Emmie up, have a few Cheerios myself, and later even some animal crackers. Mom arrived around 11, and we had lunch together (sandwiches and chips) at noon. 1 hour later, I started feeling badly again.

We tried to go to the Nature Museum, but cramps and bloating progressed. Then the nausea started in with more bloating but no movement in my colon. When the diarrhea started back (after some belly massage trying to move things around), it started back in rampant fashion and with continue cramping, urgency, bloating, and nausea. I basically went from a ball on the bed to the bathroom, just back and forth. While Alex sat and watch me.

It didn’t start. Even 15 mintues on average, I was in the bathroom.

Now, for most people, it would just be a really crappy continuation of what we decided was food poisoning. BUT I AM NOT MOST PEOPLE.

I am on immunosuppressants and in the middle of a Crohn’s flare. My body had already been through so much in the past two weeks, and having just been in a hospital environment, we didn’t know if this was my Crohn’s going wild (in a new presentation, or exacerbated by the illness the day before) or CDiff (a really bad bacterial infection) or viral infection or food poisoning.

All we knew is that I was in an 7 out of 10 discomfort, losing fluids rapidly, and had an underlying condition that would make any sort of rebound next to impossible outside of a hospital setting considering I was absolutely unable to consume any liquids.

Alex called his colleague for a second opinion, and we all made the decision to go in (I was scared I wouldn’t make it down there–in a variety of ways).

Friday Night 11 pm ER visit on a colder night meant that it didn’t look good for me getting in to see anyone for a while. I was miserable–I couldn’t be in the waiting room because of the smells (seriously, you are eating a burrito in here??) and the crowded atmosphere, and then I vomited in triage and almost couldn’t get the zofran IV that made me able to even slightly function.

Real talk for a second. I was so dehydrated I almost felt like my cheeks were touching my teeth. i know they weren’t, and I wish I had a before and after pic because it was insane.

We got lucky, though–because of my immunosuppressed nature, complicated situation, and how much discomfort I was in, (and yes, because we were at my husband’s home institution, which, along with the standard of care at Northwestern, was the reason we chanced a much longer wait to go there rather than a different hospital)–I got back in an hourish, rather than 4 hours. And I went to the bathroom 5 times during that 1 hour wait. Another 5x during the 1.5 hours I was getting fluids before they got my an observation bed.

Fluids helped, though. The zofran was great, too.

I got to my new room around 2, and we tried to get some sleep. Alex couldn’t fit on the bed with me, and because we weren’t in a full inpatient room but rather an outpaitent obs area, there was nowhere for him to go. So he tried to get some rest on the floor. I think he got 30 minutes? He was such a trooper.

MUCH better after 12 hours of fluids. Still hadn’t peed yet, though, lol.

We met with the hospitalist and Alex’s colleague who was doing weekend coverage. Sunday I even met with the head of the GI department, who happens to be one of the top IBD specialists in the world.

Alex went home around 2 PM to take care of Emmie. Not that Grandmommy wasn’t doing ok, but Emmie was having a really rough go. Mommy had already been in and out for 2 weeks, now Daddy wasn’t even there! Super separation anxiety (she even didn’t handle someone else coming to walk the dog and taking Ridley away), a totally different schedule, even different oatmeal. She has had a major sniffly nose and a post viral rash, so she hasn’t felt well. Oh, and I think those molars are getting really close.

**Edited to add: had to take Em in after writing this to the doctors and then get blood work. More to come re that***

So, basically, Emmie spent Saturday sobbing and having to be cuddled and bear hugged. An hour after Alex put her to sleep (we agreed he would stay home to be with her in case of a meltdown and just to assuage her fears), she woke up an sobbed inconsolably for 30 minutes in his arms. Watching that from afar was the WORST.

Watching her sleep Sunday morning

Sunday, I woke up better. I got 6 hours of sleep (not bad for the hospital). Alex took Emmie for a walk and got her some normalcy. I met with the docs (including one of the top IBD docs in the world), and we agreed I should try to make it at home.

I got home just in time to get Emmie up from her nap.

Healthwise, the rest of the day was a bit of a downer. I did great for an hour or so, and then got a little nauseated and put out while we went to get groceries. That night, the diarrhea returned hardcore, and I got really really bummed out. I mean, I am/was scared.

But the doc (the big dog) told Alex he could call anytime. So Alex called him, and we are all so glad that he did. He said that this didn’t sound like *my* Crohn’s. That we were still fighting the fight, and it might be a few more days of fight. But as long as I could keep down fluids, that I wasn’t in pain, and that there wasn’t blood, that we just had to keep calm and carry on. That phone call helped us all so much.

I took an immodium and hoped to the GI gods that I wouldn’t poop myself overnight.


I felt pretty fine when I woke up! I took it easy, had some bread and banana, and got my baby up. She is definitely still off–off her food, her schedule, her personality, everything. Very super stage 5 clinger. But we went for our morning walk, went to Target, and even went by Strides to say hi.

PSA Dill Pickle Lays are AMAZING.

I’m writing this while she is asleep midday, and so my hope is that I won’t have to update to say that things have fallen apart.

I just want to thank you all. Thank you for sending me love and positivity and good vibes and prayers. Thank you for reading and listening and watching and following along and understanding that I needed that. Thank you for bolstering me through these past two weeks. Thank you for understanding that I can’t really respond when I’m writhing in pain but sending well wishes anyway.

Thank you to Alex. Alex, you surpassed absolutely… I won’t say expectation but just you surpassed everyting. You took care of everything for 2 weeks. When you should have been on vacations. You supported me throughout all of the ups and downs and kept me going. You made the decision that turned everything around and got me out the door when I couldn’t make the decision for myself. You took care of my baby.

Thank you, Mom, for taking care not just of me while I was sick for the 8000th time (seriously, I would love for her to come see me and me NOT be ill) and for taking care of my baby when her parents were trying to get Mommy back.

Thank you to my body for trying so hard. You always work hard, but you got your ass literally handed to you these past two weeks. We will get you back to where you need to be. Whatever we need to do. I love you, body. It isn’t your fault that you are a lemon.

Oh, and if you want to know how truly sick I was–I can’t een think about eating vegetables right now. Will. not touch them. Threw out every vegetable in our apartment. I was able to buy new ones for Alex, but I can’t have any myself. Not. Interested.

So, I might actually be dead. A Suz without vegetables? Is that even a Suz?

Want to relive the magic? check out the archives of my IG stories.

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