This week, I was literally hoping that Emmie was going through a growth spurt, what with how she was acting! Find out why in the Friday Catch Up!
Find out how my birthday weekend was on the Weekend Catch Up from Monday!
Friday Catch Up 4/13 (happy Friday 13th!)
1) Birthday Update:
First of all, thank you so much to everyone that wished me a happy birthday or even thought about me that day. 30 is a big birthday, but one that I was ready for. I explained on Monday that I actually feel my age for once, and so it was nice to finally be there. Also, when/if I try to qualify for Boston again, new age group!
My birthday was… interesting. Emmie was a bit of a hot mess and it snowed. But whatever, I had such a great weekend that I didn’t care! After all of the fun and presents of the weekend, I had only 2 material wishes for my birthday: a ridiculous drink from Starbucks and a vegan donut from Stan’s.
I got my ridiculous drink, and I was so embarassed with my order that I did it as a mobile order so that I a) didn’t have to say it (mostly because I knew that I would forget parts of it) and b) they would just say “Susie Mobile Order.” Definitely my most high maintenance order yet (and this from someone who loves Decaf Coffee Frappuccino Lights). I got a Decaf Almond Milk Cappuccino with Sugar Free Cinnamon Dolce Syrup and Light Cinnamon Dolce topping. If I had to do it over again, I would get a latte, but whatever. I enjoyed it at Starbucks (Emmie was asleep in Rob the Bob) before heading to the grocery store.
Thank you @stansdonutschicago for putting the period on my 30th birthday celebrations with your vegan donut! This dairy and soy free mama was very appreciative! I still dream of my blueberry fritter, though 😁 I can’t help it! . . I also got the most high maintenance drink ever at Starbucks. I did it through the app to avoid embarrassment haha. #worthit #thebig30 #thisishowwedoit #omnomnom
Alex capped off my treats with my one big big request: a vegan donut from Stan’s Donuts. Turns out they have 2 kinds: original and cinnamon sugar. Verdict? Very similar to a crumb/cake donut, but denser. I prefered the original. We cut them both in half and devoured our halves! Alex also gave me some great cards (one funny, one sweet) and then I got a great present of the baby going down fairly easily and sleeping well. The only night this week she really did!
2) Birth Control Update:
I’ve stopped taking the pill. Last week, I could tell that my milk supply was already suffering after 48 hours, and it felt like Emmie was literally draining me by mid morning. We knew that this was a possibility, but I didn’t think it would be THAT bad. Plus the 4 nights straight of horrific night sweats. But the big thing was the fact that I am trying to exclusively breastfeed and Emmie just couldn’t get enough.
So I stopped, and my milk supply rebounded within 48 hours, but I could tell a difference within 36 hours. And good think that I did stop it, because Emmie has been feeding nonstop this week.
3) Emmie Update:
We are all over the place, but one thing that is consistent is that she has become a Stage 5 Clinger, Hungry Hungry Hippo, and a Cat Napper. I am hoping we are working on a growth spurt. But we might just be Emmie-ing. At this point, it doesn’t upset me or make me feel like I am doing a bad job–I know that I am doing a great job, she is just a baby. The one most frustrating bit is the fact that she isn’t sleeping well AT ALL. We’ve had one good night of sleep this week, and otherwise…. no.
She is loathe to sleep longer than 10 min during the day. She won’t stop falling asleep while nursing, then cat napping for 5ish minutes, then awake and DEMANDING to be fed. You transfer her to her bassinet or rocker? AWAKE and not having it. Try and just hold her? You might get lucky with her sleeping there, but most likely she’ll be awake before long. And then she will randomly take a 3 hour nap (this happened while I was on epic unplanned errand adventure). He easy nighttime feeds are difficult with the whole falling-asleep-at-the-boob thing.
But we have also had some great moments this week. She flipped herself over twice in tummy time (a total fluke) one morning (maybe on my birthday?), bath on the counter (no tears!), we have been playing with her new activity gym, she wore maybe my favorite outfit of hers ever, and she saw herself in the mirror in the hallway of our apartment building and thought she was SOOOOO cute (she is). So we are having fun in the midst of the chaos 😀
Hey, it is the Lemmer Zoo, right?
4) I started to have a panic attack this week. It was over something seemingly trivial, but important to me because I had promised something to someone else and didn’t think I would be able to fulfill my responsibilities. I was embarrassed and frustrated and disappointment in myself. And wearing the kiddo when I realized that I wouldn’t be able to do what I was trying to do. I tried to keep calm, I took the dog and kid for a walk instead, then came back to try again, and it got worse. I called Alex, but he was in the middle of meetings. I called Mom, but she is in Mexico.
I had to tell myself that I would figure out a solution, but I needed to remember that I have much more important things in my life (like my kid), and I needed to think through my options.
I ultimately came up with a solution, everything got dealt with, but it was a reminder to us all that even though I am doing really well and even am on a lower dose of my Effexor, these are still possibilities. THAT SAID, I was also really proud of myself for having perspective in the moment and knowing that I was catastrophizing and focusing on the fact that this was not life/death, that Emmie was most important to me, and that I could deal with the situation.
Major learning moment.
(Yes, I live with Anxiety and Depression)
5) I have a new goal when it comes to this blog (for which I just renewed the domain for another year). And that is to get back to something that used to be just a given: responding to all of the amazing and wonderful comments that you leave me. I am honestly embarrassed at how I’ve let what used to be a tenet of my blog–answering all of your thoughtful comments with thoughtful response–slip. I think part of it is the fact that I really DO give thoughtful responses–I don’t just say 3 words and move on, for the most part.
But I’ve gotten out of the habit, much like I have with exercise. I see your comments, but I don’t always respond. I make up excuses (Emmie takes two hands, I’m too tired, whatever), but there is no excuse. If you take the time, I can take the time. I am so fortunate to have amazing people around me; I need to show you the respect you deserve!
So please forgive me, and expect to get a lot of reply notifications!
This weekend, Alex has a few nights of call (yay not), I have a few fitness classes (Hot Yoga and Tone and Flow), and I feel like there is something else hidden in there. I have no idea what that might be.
Have a great weekend, everyone! I hope you sleep better than I am going to!
What is a habit/ritual/routine that used to be a given in your life that you have let slip?
Do you have an embarrassing Starbucks order? I once tried to order the cheapo Frappuccino, which is a blended iced americano, or something like that. It was useless.