This week has been up, down, and all around. But there have been quite a few favorites from it, and I wanted to share!
20 beautiful miles in a gorgeous setting
Yes, I know I already mentioned this, but this was a run that took me to an edge but also demonstrated to me just how far I have come since this spring. When I think about it, 6 months ago, I was in Pittsburgh meeting someone who has become one of my best friends and who I text with nearly every day. 6 months ago I didn’t have a job. I couldn’t run because of my hamstring. But you know what? I was still happy. I felt like I was finally making some decisions for me, not just for my “future” or for the benefit of everyone else (or my perception of it). I started studying to be a personal trainer. I was about 2 weeks into my (now well established) yoga practice. In short, I was embarking on everything new.
In thinking about what this weekend meant to me, it showed to me how far I have come. How hard I have worked. That I have become comfortable in Chicago–comfortable enough to run 20 miles without a watch. But I am also still uncomfortable. I am still reverent of my body, of what it might give, what it might take. And I don’t take that for granted. Not one bit (or I like to think).
This, to me, is a perfect illustration of the intention/process/result argument. Look at my intentions, look at the process, and we are about to find out the result. But I have to say, I feel like I have already reached the “outcome.” The marathon will give me closure, in a sense, and a pat on the back. But I have fought for this. I fought for those 20 miles. For my friends. I gave up on my intention to be a full time personal trainer, but where I am today, I am all the happier for it. No Regret.
Spending time with someone who isn’t “my” friend, but is my second brother, in a sense. Berge (not his name, but he is just the man, the myth, the legend, and I will leave it at that 😉 ) is one of those guys that I met and instantly adored. He’s a goof to the nth degree. He may have started out as Alex’s friend, but he is my bud. And I got 2 whole afternoons with him while he was visiting for a medical conference. We went to Nico and got cocktails (he is the type of guy that even after asking the busser to pack up the remaining bread, because Alex loves Nico’s bread, Berge asked our server if he might “make a request,” that my husband loved their bread, and would they pack some up for us? Few people think to do that. He also expensed our dinner 😀 I seriously need an expense account.).
Heart openers in yoga class. Yesterday, in honor of September 11, Elyse (who is one of my favorite teachers ever) offered up the intention of opening our hearts and just loving ourselves. It wasn’t my best class, and it actually really tested me–I even outright fell over for the first time in a long while, and from a pose that I nail on a regular basis. My hips were tight, my hip flexors were giving me the middle finger, but regardless, I didn’t leave frustrated. I left loving myself. Intention, process, outcome. Self Love Selfie.
Living my life actively. Making connections, for myself–coffee dates, phone dates, running dates–and my career. Taking charge, laying down the law (as it were), and getting whatever it is done. And that leads me to my news.
On my 3 month anniversary, I got a title change. I am now the Marketing Director. I hesitate to call it a “promotion” because, in a sense, I will continue to do what I am already doing. But the importance of the title change is that now we know what to call me. Up to this point, I was still a bit in no-man’s land with regards to what I “was.” The business world places so great an importance on title/label/heading. This has been an aspect of great struggle for me. People meet you and ask what you do. And for the past x years, my answer has always been a freaking paragraph: Well, I do this but I’m really trained to do this but I probably will only be able to do that. Now, even if it changes, I know what I am right now and (here’s the kicker) I am freaking happy about it. For once, I am proud to say what I am. Not because I wasn’t proud of being a server, or working towards my personal training license. But because I always felt like I was falling short of what I could/should/would be. I finally feel like what I am doing, what I am “titled” and what I want to be doing finally match up. My “outcome” is not the one that I set out with the intention of achieving. And I took a break in during the process. Guess what, I planned on setting PR’s all year long. Well, that got ripped out from underneath me reallllll quick like.
And now I am running a marathon for the sheer joy of it. So this year, I either got smarter, or I just got dumber. Here’s to hoping that I just keep on getting even dumber 😀 Ignorance, in this case, is bliss!
Right now, I am in a completely different place that part of me expected to go. But you know what? I opened my heart and found myself, as I need to be, right now. And I want to celebrate it.
A few weeks ago, I signed up to participate in Kristy at Runaway Bridal Planner‘s Get Your Run On Giveaway Blog Hop and you gotta believe that this is perfect timing. But I like you all, so I am going to double up.
I started out the summer with an Office Survival Giveaway. We are going to bring the summer with some things to ease the transition into fall. The Heart Opener Giveaway is short but sweet, and contains some familiar friends:
- A sampler with 4 flavors of Jolly Oak Granola (S’mores is my fave)
- A big bag of 479 Degrees Chipotle Caramel + Pumpkin Seed Gourmet Popcorn
- Tazo Pumpkin Spice Chai Tea + Girls Night Out hot/cold tumbler
I hope that you find these things to be a huge hug from me to you and a thank you for going on this journey with me. The giveaway will only be up for a week, so make it count! And stay tuned for the big one coming this Monday!
Are you/how are you learning to open your heart?
Look at yourself 6 months ago. Where were you intending to be at this point in the year? Are you there or somewhere else entirely?