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Lyfe Thinking Out Loud Tough Talk

Dealing with Injury: Scared to Move

Ok, friends, this is going to be a more serious one. If you come here for nonsense and advice, then come back later (but don’t leave without entering my Fit Body Bakery giveaway, and remember that more giveaways are on the way!).

So, this hip/back thing that I mentioned on Monday (and freaked out about on Friday). It is:

  1. A lot more serious than we thought
  2. But we don’t know how serious it is
  3. We don’t know what it actually is
  4. It happened for no reason at all
  5. It just freaking hurts to move.

In fact, I miss not being scared to move.

When a running coach and marathoner gets to the point that I’m not even concerned with running, that I just want to be able to walk and move without being scared, you know that you are dealing with something serious. We were hoping that it was a stabilizer muscle–oh, I was so hoping that–but Monday, the pain shifted, and I knew something was wrong. So I made an appointment with the Physical Medicine and Rehabilitation doctor group that I’ve seen for my other freak injuries (so far, all of the ones that have been serious have been freak!), and after we cleared my pelvis of breaks/fractures (some good news, yay) 

I’m sorry, I don’t want to get too overly dramatic, because I am not, as of now, dealing with a slipped disc or something that requires major intervention (knock wood). But this isn’t something like my stress reaction where the treatment is slap on a boot, don’t do impact, go about your business.

Having a husband who has had back surgery, a mom who suffered a fractured pelvis and multiple vertebra dysfunction (and continues to), and a friend who has been confronted with possibilities of spinal fusion before the age of 30, I don’t take back pain or injury lightly, but I am also not going to belittle my own pain: pain is pain, as I have said before when discussing living with Crohn’s (Ie, I don’t belittle other people’s pain).

No Pain No Gain Dwight Meme

Injury Redux?

I had a similar injury to this one in 2012, right after my first half marathon, when my (then fiancé) and I and the family went on a cruise. I was running on a treadmill, and when I got off the treadmill, I felt something change, but it just felt like a dull ache. Nothing major, right? Well, after ellipticalling the next day, by the end of the day, I was screaming in pain and couldn’t stand. Long story short, it took about 4 weeks for that to heal, but in the interim, I could sit up with help, I couldn’t run from a burning building, I was in rough shape.

Well, it appears that I have returned to that same condition, this time on the other side. What threw me off is that this time, I have no problem sitting up–that doesn’t really seem to bother me. It is any sort of change in the compressive forces in my lower back. But… sort of. If only it were that easy!

Lumbar Spinal Injury?

It isn’t the SI joint… not really. It might be the lumbar portion of my spine. We don’t really know. But I feel like I’ve been punched in the back. And then knives while walking.

Lower Back Pain Ain't Sexy

All I know is that from now on, if I EVER have, even for a split second, the thought “This treadmill might not be even” when I get on it, I am waiting for the next one. Because I had that thought on Thursday, and by the end, I found myself in this mess again. Granted, there are a ton of other factors that likely played a role, but, as I discussed with regards to my stress reaction, I can’t micromanage my life. But I can, when I notice things, pay the F attention.

Dealing with Injury: My Right-Now Plan to Move Forward

Right now, I am going to a chiro/spine specialist 2x a week (saw them for the first time on Monday, going back today), and I can do the spin bike and weights (even legs, if you can believe it) that don’t impact my stabilization (no more Bosu for now, that is for sure!). 

One thing that I am very bummed about is that I don’t know what will become of my coaching for Winter Warriors with CES. I had literally just committed to them. I emailed the head coach and let her know, but I don’t know what will become of it. And that bums me out. So in the mean time, I will pour my energies into figuring out how to get my personal running coach business off the ground (I know that I owe some of you emails!). Those who can’t do, teach, and all that.

Trying to Retain my Sense of Humor.

Trying to Retain my Sense of Humor.

I wasn’t kidding when I said that I get hurt when I’m not training, and for freak reasons. Also, apparently treadmills are NOT my friend. This is the 4th serious treadmill-related injury I’ve had! It would just be easier if I fell off of them and that was it.

I’m ok, honestly–at least about the running aspect of it. I’ll survive. What is getting me is the day to day stuff. The fact that I am scared to move. The fact that I can’t trust my body with the mundane. The fact that, once again, chronic pain is interfering with my personal life. That I can’t just be my usual self.

running lake front suzlyfe
Even the thought of doing this hurts.

I’m not writing this for pity, but I just needed to unload, and maybe explain why I’m not really my usual self at the moment. I know you all understand; I know you all have been through it before in your own way. I don’t want to focus on the sadface side of this–PS did you all see the thing about Facebook’s new “Reactions”?–let’s find a positive about today. It is November, after all, the month of my favorite holiday.

I am thankful that:

  • though I may be scared, and I may do so gingerly, that I still can move.
  • that I still can exercise
  • that I still can coach and motivate
  • that I still can cook and enjoy my favorite foods
  • that I still can meet up with my friends and family
  • that I have experts helping me work towards getting better. 

I am thankful that I have your ears/eyes to unload my feelings.

Injured, but thankful, @suzlyfe discusses her mystery injury #runchat #mentalhealth #fitfluential Click To Tweet

What are you thankful for today?

What is your favorite mythical creature?

What is a random skill that you wish you had?

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