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Injury Lyfe Tough Talk

Damn It.

Damn it. That is the most family friendly combination of words that I have for you right now.

What I really want to say, and I’m going to, now that I am past the preview part of the post and you will have had to click on it to enter is GOD DAMN SHIT MOTHER FUCKER.

I had an entire other post waiting for you today. Written. Was about to put images in it. And then I got a lovely call from my lovely PM&R doctor with the lovely results of my lovely MRI.

Part of me wishes I had never picked up the phone. I knew he didn’t have good news for me from the minute he said who he was (it showed up as a private number).

Because, as it turns out, you can have a stress fractured hip even though the pain is abating and you can jump on the damn thing and walk scads of steps a day on it without pain. 

That’s right, folks, I have another stress fracture in my hip. Which is a tough pill to swallow, as I am the bone health and anti-stress fracture person that I am. 

I haven’t seen the images yet (and neither has the doctor, he’s only read the report) but apparently I have a combo platter of stress reaction and fracture in my left hip right around where the femur meets the hip. He was more specific, but I was honestly just really fucking upset and trying not to sob at that point. 

Oh, and you better believe I am sobbing. Because it isn’t just that I have to immediately go non-weight bearing. 

I have a dog that needs to be walked and chased after and worn out.

Not from today, but still cute.

I have a job that is totally on my feet and moving around and extremely physical. But one that I love.

I sold my car.

I have to be back on f-ing crutches for 4-6 weeks. That means that I am on crutches until about Thanksgiving. 

Yep, those assholes

I have to leave my job and my friends and my social network and support there. Immediately. I can’t even give them two weeks. 

Once again, I am at a place where I feel like I can’t trust my body. I know that pregnancy can do extreme things to your hips and your bones (my husband worked with someone who had pregancy-induced osteopenia and fractured her pelvis just walking).

I am so thankful for my little Yoshi. But right now I’m really fucking mad. And I’m sad. I’m so happy right now, I am so fulfilled. And now I just am scared that this is my future, to recur again and again. 

But I need to focus on getting better. Not just for me but for Yoshi. 

I’m obviously writing this in a very raw state; I probably shouldn’t hit publish. 

But I’m going to. Because this is real life. This is happening. 

Just be glad that you aren’t seeing me ugly cry right now. Because it is UGLY. 

Anxiety attacks are the worst.

I’m going to go and try to figure some things out, and I’ll be back Monday or Tuesday (probably after Mom leaves) with a new perspective and some idea of what to do next. 

I don’t need pity, I don’t need I told you so’s. I honestly don’t know what I need right now.

Don’t mind if I do.

Happy Friday The 13th. 

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57 Comments

  • Reply jen

    OMG, that is aweful. no pity or told-you-so, just a hug. Hope you heal quickly xoxo

    October 13, 2017 at 6:13 am
  • Reply Katie

    Just sending love and hugs, friend!

    October 13, 2017 at 6:24 am
  • Reply Jamie@TheMomGene

    No pity. Just love here. And absolute understanding. One day I will tell you the story of my MISERABLE bedrest right in the middle of pregnancy and moving houses and teaching. But not today.

    October 13, 2017 at 6:27 am
  • Reply Janelle @ Run With No Regrets

    Oh, Susie…I’m so sorry! Wishing you a speedy recovery!

    October 13, 2017 at 6:29 am
  • Reply MCM Mama

    {{{HUGS}}} It’s ok to be pissed. Hope you can come up with some solutions this weekend. I’d come walk your pup, but it’s a really long commute.

    October 13, 2017 at 6:46 am
  • Reply Rachel

    I will offer no pity and no advice. I just want you to know I’m here for you if you want to vent. Because I agree, this shit SUCKS. You are one tough chica, though. If anyone can make it through this, it’s you. Text/email if you need to chat. xxoo

    October 13, 2017 at 6:50 am
  • Reply Michelle

    I’m so very sorry. But so very relieved it isn’t something worse. Reading the title had me very scared for you.

    October 13, 2017 at 6:57 am
  • Reply Jennifer @ Fit Nana

    As a former sailor, wife of a sailor, mother of a sailor, and daughter of two sailors, I will cuss right along with you. That really fucking sucks (so glad Yoshi is okay, though!)!! If you ever need someone to listen to a potty mouth rant, I got you. Call me. We can cuss together. I’m so sorry.

    October 13, 2017 at 7:03 am
  • Reply Michael Anderson

    Oh fudge.

    (only he didn’t say fudge … )

    October 13, 2017 at 7:08 am
  • Reply Deborah Brooks

    No pity here either. You have the right to be angry and pissed and disappointed. Good news is the baby is doing well. You might need a punching bag?

    October 13, 2017 at 7:11 am
  • Reply Ashley @ A Lady Goes West

    So sorry to hear this, Susie. It’s NOT the news you want, but somehow, some way, you’ll get through it and be stronger on the other end. Sending you love!

    October 13, 2017 at 7:18 am
  • Reply Rae

    FUUUUUCCKKK this blows. I wish I could feed you poutine and ice cream and lead you in some therapeutic cursing. I know some good ones. Sending ALL THE LOVE. <3

    October 13, 2017 at 7:19 am
  • Reply lindsay Cotter

    I’d give you my hips if I could. LOL! I know, that’s not the best thing to say, but I am just glad baby is okay. Yoshi will heal your wounded heart. Love you!

    October 13, 2017 at 7:26 am
  • Reply Renee

    OMG! You’ve got some things going on! Breathe and relax I’ll give you some words of wisdom I’m trying to use this month as my life enters even a new phase of madness. What’s meant to be ours will be ours. It sucks, it’s a full on french fry eating event but I promise you it’s bringing you to something even better. <3 Sending you love and light my friend.

    October 13, 2017 at 7:27 am
  • Reply Linda from Veganosity

    This sucks! I’m sorry, Suzie. Virtual hugs to you. ❤️❤️

    October 13, 2017 at 7:39 am
  • Reply Coco

    I am so sorry. It sucks for sure. Obviously this is a safe place to vent — your cursing won’t burn my eyeballs out. (((hugs)))

    October 13, 2017 at 7:48 am
  • Reply Laura @ This Runner's Recipes

    Oh Susie. I am so, so glad that Yoshi is okay but I am so, so sorry that you have this. Wishing you a speedy recovery.

    October 13, 2017 at 8:01 am
  • Reply Esther

    I’m am sorry girl.
    I’m sending you a freaking huge hug!
    I wish I had words that could make it better.
    I’m glad Yoshi is ok and I am here for ya!
    ❤️❤️❤️

    October 13, 2017 at 8:05 am
  • Reply Gina

    And a cheeseburger!! Cuz fries are better with a cheeseburger!! Girl!! You are a fighter! ❤️

    October 13, 2017 at 8:11 am
  • Reply Cora

    Thank freaking God your Mom is there.

    I have no words. I am. So. Sorry Suz. F*ck. It isn’t fair Suz. And I know this isn’t what you need to hear right now… but… you can do this. Fight this mother effer that keeps throwing challenges at you. Be the warrior you know you are. And cry as much as you goddamn want to.

    October 13, 2017 at 8:23 am
  • Reply Alicia @Bridges Through Life

    Oh man that is so tough. Sending you hugs and hope you have a good weekend with your mom.

    October 13, 2017 at 8:27 am
  • Reply Lauren

    Girl that is a pile of SH!T. I’m sorry and an sending you good vibes. You are allowed to be angry.

    October 13, 2017 at 8:29 am
  • Reply Danielle @ The T-Rex Runner

    Damn, that sucks! I’m really sorry to hear this. So glad your mom is there with you to help you cope for a few days. I’d be pissed, too!

    October 13, 2017 at 8:37 am
  • Reply Suzlyfe’s mommy, Clare

    What about some sweet potato fries?
    Mommy is on her way and we will all figure this out, we are Team Susie, after all…..

    October 13, 2017 at 8:37 am
  • Reply Lizzie Royer

    Ugh so so so so frustrating.

    Maybe you will be able to focus on something that has been lacking in your life?

    Since I had two issues with tendonitis this past summer, I was able to take a step back and focus on my strength training and diet a little closer… and now I am back to running and healthy/strong! <3

    October 13, 2017 at 8:44 am
  • Reply Kimberly

    Hugs to you. You’ve got this!!

    October 13, 2017 at 8:57 am
  • Reply Julie @ Running in a Skirt

    UGH! I’m angry for you girl! That is so not fair and I am so sorry. I wish we lived close and I’d come get Ridley for you to wear her out. It’s ok to be mad because this really sucks.

    October 13, 2017 at 9:18 am
  • Reply Jamie King

    So sorry to hear about this Susie, you’re so strong, just keep your head up lady!

    October 13, 2017 at 9:52 am
  • Reply Stephanie Suire

    I’ve got nothing that will make you feel better. But I am glad you shared and I am sorry for what you are going through. This totally sucks. I want to throw a temper tantrum for you. And send you virtual French fries.

    October 13, 2017 at 10:10 am
  • Reply Amee Livingston

    Oh girl, I’m so sorry about this! Prayers for quick healing! Injuries super suck. I’ve dealt with my share this year, too, after breast cancer surgeries. Sending good vibes your way. xo~

    October 13, 2017 at 10:33 am
  • Reply Marina @ Happy Healing

    Ughhhh, this is so frustrating. I’m really sorry to hear it – sending healing thoughts your way!

    October 13, 2017 at 10:43 am
  • Reply Montana @ Pretty Lil Mudder

    Sending healing thoughts and hugs!

    October 13, 2017 at 10:59 am
  • Reply Megan @ Skinny Fitalicious

    Ugh…horrible news. I’m sorry love. I know so hard it is when you have a stress fracture. I can’t even imagine being pregnant and having one and giving up your job. At least those things are temporary. If I were there, I would bring you treats because lord knows I have a trillion of them in my fridge.

    October 13, 2017 at 11:21 am
  • Reply Alyse

    NOOOOOO. I’m so sorry. 🙁 That’s absolutely the worst and I think you were right to hit publish on a very real, raw emotional post. Wishing you the speediest of recoveries and a forever goodbye to those assholes.

    October 13, 2017 at 12:45 pm
  • Reply Kimberly Hatting

    Sending well wishes and happy thoughts (and maybe a hug …or several)

    October 13, 2017 at 1:20 pm
  • Reply Kat

    Well frick, girl. I’m so sorry. How flippin’ frustrating.
    I’m actually glad that you wrote this in your raw state. Don’t ever hide that part from us, ok? You deserve to vent and express yourself and how you really feel – especially with something as irritating as this. Hang in there <3

    October 13, 2017 at 1:39 pm
  • Reply Kaila @ Healthy Helper

    Been there girl… in fact, there now. 4 fractures in my pelvis. May not be able to ever run again. Not the prognosis I want….but we’re in this together. Love you and ALWAYS here if you want to chat. I feel like we have A LOT of similarities in our journeys.

    October 13, 2017 at 2:31 pm
  • Reply Emily @ Pizza & Pull-ups

    Oh girl, I am so sorry. That is so shitty and unfair. I hope you recover as quickly as possible.

    October 13, 2017 at 2:34 pm
  • Reply Allie

    How about a “fuck that shit!”?? You should wallow for as long as you need to. You’ve earned it. And definitely, absolutely 100% on the fries.
    xoxo

    October 13, 2017 at 2:48 pm
  • Reply Michaela

    Gosh that really freakin sucks. There is nothing anyone can say to make it better. With my first pregnancy, I had debilitating sacroiliac pain for 3-4 weeks. Every step I took felt like a knife in my lower back/butt. I was a royal bitch. My husband will testify to that. The good news is that with my second pregnancy, I hardly had any pain and I ran longer into my pregnancy, including finishing a marathon!

    October 13, 2017 at 3:20 pm
  • Reply Karin

    That is sooo shitty. I quietly follow you. I’m well past the stage in life where you are right now but I remember it well. I have a feeling that your mom, husband and friends will rally and that you will, once again, come out in one solid piece. Good luck…

    October 13, 2017 at 3:45 pm
  • Reply Debbie

    Well, damn it (or is that dammit?) Suz! That totally sucks. You have every right to be pissed off as hell. And I cant help being that glass half full type, so I’ll be grateful that Yoshi is fine, and I’ll be sorry that you have to go through this. But sorry in a totally pissed off kind of way!

    October 13, 2017 at 4:59 pm
  • Reply Amy

    I am so sorry! Sending you hugs. Gosh, life is full of some bumps in the road and this is a major one. You have every right to feel the way you do. Let it all out. I’ll keep my fingers crossed this is the fastest 4-6 weeks ever.

    October 13, 2017 at 5:06 pm
  • Reply Marcia

    Ugh! That’s so frustrating. I’m so sorry.

    October 13, 2017 at 5:10 pm
  • Reply wendy

    I am so sorry Suz.

    October 13, 2017 at 6:14 pm
  • Reply Lisa @ Mile by Mile

    This is just awful. I’m sorry you have to go through this, but I’m glad the baby is ok. I hope you heal up quickly!

    October 13, 2017 at 6:45 pm
  • Reply Natalie

    I’m so sorry. That really, really stinks – but glad that sweet baby is okay. Lots of books and Netflix!! Sending love xoxox

    October 13, 2017 at 10:38 pm
  • Reply Suzlyfe’s mommy, Clare

    Suse,
    I will say I’m “so sorry” because I am.
    I’m also very incredibly glad that I was already schedule to come up this weekend.
    Yes, you are entitled to ugly tears and unlimited French fries, but in spite of the swollen-from-crying- big blue eyes of yours, your pregnant mommy eyes are sparkly when you talk about Yoshi.
    We will figure out how to work all this out.
    As Coach Susie says, you have to listen to your body, and that little baby bump body of yours has spoken…..again. She needs a break and she needs you to take a load off right now,
    But, I am distressed for you.
    I’ll be over in an hour or so, ok?

    October 14, 2017 at 8:55 am
  • Reply Becca

    I’m glad you hit publish – sometimes it’s cathartic to have our raw selves out there. I can bring you fries if you need! 🙂

    October 15, 2017 at 7:34 pm
  • Reply Kristy from Southern In Law

    NOOOOOOOOOOOO! This sucks – but you’re awesome so I know you’ll get through it. Sending HUGE hugs!

    October 15, 2017 at 9:02 pm
  • Reply Emily Swanson

    Susie, my heart hurts for you. Praying so much for you. Praying again, knowing that God healed your body before, and I’m definitely praying for healing now. <3 <3 <3

    October 16, 2017 at 2:10 am
  • Reply Lacey@fairytalesandfitness

    I am so sorry to hear that girl. That just sucks! But you will bounce back like you always do. I know this post doesn’t sound like it but you have are a positive person and can get through anything. You’ve done it before and you can do it again.

    October 16, 2017 at 7:51 am
  • Reply Miss Polkadot

    Ach scheiße! Hey, I kept it family-friendly by swearing in German, right? Damn, really. No pitying from me because I know that never makes anything better.
    We need to experience rain to see rainbows – old saying, I’m aware, and probably also not what you want to hear but I honestly believe these hard times make you even stronger. Yoshi will have a powerful mum to look up to. Big hugs, lady! And never hold back those raw emotions. We can’t just let them bottle up within ourselves.

    October 16, 2017 at 9:15 am
  • Reply San

    Just chiming in with a big “FUCK” to support your rage. (I’ve been told it’s funny when I swear in English, because it’s not my first language, so … maybe that will make you smile just a little). But honestly, I can only imagine how angry and frustrated you must be… and I am so sorry.

    P.S. I saw “Sisters” last weekend. At least that was hilarious.

    October 16, 2017 at 2:03 pm
  • Reply Nicole @ Bento Momentos

    I’m sorry to hear about that 🙁 But I’m glad you’re able to express your feelings! Sometimes that’s half the battle. You’re strong, you got this!

    October 16, 2017 at 7:37 pm
  • Reply Katie @ Hungry Runner

    Oh man! Sorry to hear 🙁 I wish you a speedy recovery and am sending all the positive vibes and hugs your way <2

    October 17, 2017 at 5:54 am
  • Reply neil@neilshealthymeals.com

    OMG. Sorry, I am just catching up with my blogging pals! What a nightmare for you Susie. Chin up and a speedy recovery wished to you from both Lynne and I!

    October 19, 2017 at 4:10 am
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