This weekend, I had to employ my method for breaking out of mental ruts. I’m obviously still dealing with some of the aftermath of my midweek episode plus the ups/downs/all arounds of Alex being in and out with interviews and now a work trip.
Don’t forget about my RXBAR giveaway!
Anxiety and Depression Update
Last week was a weird week. It started well, I suffered a severe anxiety/depression episode, I rebounded (Nothing Lasts Forever, after all), and then I needed a bit of a pick me up again this weekend. I’m not going to lie–the potential for these nadirs and anxiety attacks can be just as anxiety-inducing as the attacks themselves. I wouldn’t say that those types of thoughts cause new attacks, but the potential is like a specter in my mind.
If I am honest, much like the potential for another injury. My experiences with injury and coming back from injury, the fact that I still have to balance the injury demons in my thoughts and body long after the injury–in this case, stress fracture–are the driving reasons behind the creation of my Stress Fracture Free Running Program.
Anyway, after a few good brain days at the end of the week, I woke up Saturday feeling a bit like the lights were “off” in my head. It can be hard to explain, but imagine that you are the most tired that you can be without being sleepy. Not foggy, not sad, not happy, just there and not really engaged. It isn’t a numb feeling, it is just like you aren’t quite there.
It took some doing because I felt so meh, but Alex and I got out for our run, and by the time I was done, I won’t say that I felt better mentally, but at least I could make the distinction between my mental and physical energy states.
I headed off to the gym for an open house event, and when I was done, I headed back home to get Alex so that we could go to the party that one of my clients was throwing for his and his partners 20th anniversary (which is so awesome). Unfortunately, we had to run a few nonsense errands downtown first, and dealing with traffic added on nearly an hour between the errands and getting to the party, and I was starving, having not had a regular meal all day because of running and then the event, all things that don’t do you much good when you are in an off mood, do they?
Long story short? I was obnoxious, ornery, and completely unfair to Alex. Fortunately, I had the presence of mind to realize what a B I was being and apologize, but these are the moments of my depression and anxiety that frustrate me the most–the effect that my issues have on my relationship with Alex and my loved ones. The inability to be in control of my emotions can be scary and anxiety inducing, but the fact that I can literally (but figuratively) wake up on the wrong side of the bed frustrates me like no other. It just isn’t fair to everyone else.
How I Break Out of Mental Ruts
I think by now we know what one of the best cures for me when these episodes are happening: breaking the cycle by putting my party pants on and surrounding myself with good people, good food, and an entirely different atmosphere.
My client’s anniversary party was lovely and so much fun afterward, I felt like a new person. I felt like me again, and I woke up feeling like myself again on Sunday (just in time for Alex to leave on another trip).How do you break out of mental ruts? Good people, food, + scenery #mentalhealth #fitfluential Click To Tweet
I spent Sunday trying to get life in order–tidying up and organizing a bit, getting outside with the pupsters, and cuddling Zoe. Zoe and Ridley are doing much better, and though they are certainly not friends, they are able to pass right in front of each other, which is #major. Right now we are trying to figure out where to put Zoe’s food so that we can leave it out like she is used to but a) she will eat it and b) Ridley won’t eat it for her.
Actually, I spent Sunday trying to wear Ridley out. She was BANANAS all day.
Hopefully, the obedience classes that Ridley is starting this week will help!
How was your weekend?
What helps you break your cycle when you get in mental ruts?
Linking up with Katie for Marvelous Monday!